Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
April 21, 2009
Production code:
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  • Torture Logic
"President Obama releases CIA torture memos! It's like the Greatest Hits of our greatest hits!"
  • Rage Coach
"And my guest is Mike Krzyzewski, coach of the Duke Blue Devils! Might have made the Final Four if it was the Blue Jesuses!"

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For NHL playoff highlights and scores ... move to Canada!
This is
The Colbert Report!
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~ Stephen Colbert
April 21, 2009 The Colbert Report


  • reign of justice
  • our media is dominated by lightweights
    • Anderson Cooper says he 360, not
  • George Will
    • triple pleat herring bone trousers
    • rhino balls
    • shines light on only issue that matters: Demon Denim
      • symptomatic of deep disorders in
  • Satan's Leg Tubes
    • clerical vestments
  • George Will - English Dictionary
    • George Stephanopolous Roundtable Gift Shop
  • my conservative butt doesn't look good in wranglers
  • heir to intellectual giants
  • Herb Tarlick(sp)
    • dugarees v. suits
  • illegal aliens are eating our housecats
  • America's problems are being caused by a tiki torch I found while on vacation in Hawaii


  • last week Obama's DoJ released 4 more torture memos
    • collect the whole set and you get a free coffee mug
  • outline in great detail what interrogators could and could not do
    • product placement (Ensure Plus)
      • one sip and you'll say ... pretty much anything
  • technically not turture
  • will those people who perpetrated those acts be punished
    • Obama doesn't want to be prejudged
  • we need to punish those responsible for those acts
    • we can lourde our moral superiority over other countries
      • In your face Zimbabwe!
  • who really is responsible
  • KSM, guilty
    • 9/11
    • wearing plunging neckline without waxing
  • Dr. Colbert's souffle is done
    • would cool off on the ches of someone
  • "following orders"
    • is not an acceptable defense
  • Federal Circuit Court Judge Ming The Merciless
  • if you're not in the delivery room, you're not the father
  • if we're not punishing people for approving the torture
    • we may all be guilty for re-electing Bush
  • whoever we punish for these
    • can't be the ones who did the torture
    • can't be the ones who authorized the torture
  • the only ones we can punish for the torture is the guy we tortured
    • then we can put all this behind us
  • we learned sometimes we have to do terrible things to get the information we need
    • there are times when we can torture with no repercussions

Who's Riding My Coattails Now?Edit

  • Utah Senator Orrin Hatch sent CDs of songs he wrote himself
  • featuring the songstylings of Steve Amerson, America's Tenor
  • if you act now, you will also get a copy of his other album:
    • "Stunned by The States"
  • call in the next 5 seconds
    • bonus "Flabbergasted by the Flag"
      • mashed-up with Bangles covers
  • these CDs are not available in stores because stores no longer sell CDs


  • is the coach of the Duke basketball team who may have lost the NCAA Tourney
    • one of Dr. Colbert's Final Four guests
  • unconscionable that he hoards so many consonants
  • why have a team
    • Stephen is the LeBron James of his show
  • what is the difference between teamwork and socialism
  • coaches may become dictators
  • different personality beast into a team
  • 29 years at Duke
  • greatest he ever coached Jordan
    • no suicides
  • will try the four-man-hand-holding defense
  • pointers for Stephen's softball team to beat Daily Show softball team
    • recruit ringers
  • how young should be a player be in the NBA
    • right out of high school
  • if you can drool, you can dribble
    • out of the womb
  • accused Dr. Colbert of a breeding experiment


  • Dr. Colbert has a reminder for Heroes who recorded tonight's show and burned it on a DVD, here's is his special DVD commentary:
    • stop stealing his show!


Official Truthy VideosEdit

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