Fandom

Wikiality

The Colbert Report/Episode/523

< The Colbert Report | Episode

12,424pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Production InfoEdit

FlyingEaglePREV
Previous Episode
Date:
March 5, 2009
Season:
Season5
Episode:
523
Production code:
5032
FlyingEagleNEXT
Next Episode

The Check-InEdit

IF A CHECK-IN OCCURS, SUMMARIZE IT HERE, OTHERWISE DELETE SECTION

IntroEdit

Tonight
  • The Bully Pundit
"The Obama Administration goes after pundits! John King set your magic screen to "stun!""
  • Air, Apparently
"And my guest Steven Johnson has a book called "The Invention of Air!" I hope he doesn't hold the patent, or I owe that guy a lot of money!"


Flag quote open clear2
I retain all my vitamins because I am always steamed!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
March 5, 2009 The Colbert Report



Colbert May Like Obama After AllEdit

  • After welcoming His Mob, Dr. Colbert reminded everyone what yesterday was:
    • it was March the 4th
    • the 44th day in office for Barack Obama
    • the 44th president
  • Stephen admits he isn't an ancient gypsy woman, but he does know that any time a number is repeated that many times, something horrible happens
  • yesterday was no exception
    • for yesterday, Dr. Colbert began to like Barack Obama!
      • to their credit The Mob clapped to ward off the evil spirits
  • Dr. Colbert has to respect him because he bought his daughters a swing set for the South Lawn, which includes
    • a climbing wall
    • a tire swing
    • in the back, there's a slide (so you can pretend you're the Dow Jones Index!)
  • With all that he's got going on, how did he put it together in just 44 days!?
  • Dr. Colbert has been working on one for his kids for the last 9 years
    • the youngest is still lost somewhere inside it
      • he's fine; they lower in sandwiches

Stock MarketEdit

  • the opening bell now sounds like (ColbertSound this)
  • Dr. Colbert reviewed his financial portfolio, which caught fire as soon as he opened it
    • it's an improvement; last month it was filled with locusts
  • nothing that has been tried has worked
    • not giving the banks millions
    • not giving the banks billions
    • not even giving the banks trillions
  • when none of those plans worked, the Obama Administration began scapegoating the innocents: pundits
    • the first victim was Rick Santelli, who challenged Obama to put up a website allowing people to vote on whether anyone wants to subsidize the mortgages of losers
  • Dr. Colbert agrees that we should only subsidize winners, like AIG
    • any online voting would probably wind up subsidizing dancing silhouettes
  • the clip showing Santelli rousing the rabble on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange became very popular
    • half the people who saw it believed they were going to see the Dramatic Chipmunk
  • White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs (who is in the pocket of Big loser) attacked Santelli out of no where!
    • Gibbs said:
"It's tremendously important that for people, who rant on cable television to be responsible and understand what it is they're talking about."
  • Dr. Colbert reminds Gibbs that not only does he not have his own show on cable TV, but he also wouldn't know how hard it is to both fill a half hour and know what he's talking about!
    • Dr. Colbert has it down to a science: he keeps his mouth moving in the hopes that words keep coming out: robot lesbians in Vermont want to elect gay dog mayors!
  • throughout the crisis, the pundits have given Obama great advice:
    • Jimmy showed several clips of pundits giving great advice, such as:
      • be positive
      • give people encouragement
      • give people incentives
  • Dr. Colbert believes this advice is great and believes with the right incentives, people with no jobs and no savings could get huge mortgages, with no down payments
    • it's worked before

SEGMENT3Edit

  • MAIN POINT/LINK
    • SUBLINK1
    • SUBLINK2

InterviewEdit

EpilogueEdit

  • Dr. Colbert likes to leave The Heroes wanting more, by ending this episode with "good ..." (with the ending coming on Monday)

GalleryEdit

Official Truthy VideosEdit

External TubesEdit

  • [URL Link Title]
  • [URL Link Title]

Reviews and CommentsEdit

EmmyAwardWinningTCR2

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki