The Colbert Report/Episode/517

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Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
February 24, 2009
Production code:
Next Episode

The Check-InEdit

  • Dr. Colbert discusses what's happening with His Jewish Friend
    • they seem to be on the same wavelength wavelength.
      • Or in synch.


The show started with the theme, and no statements of truthiness

Mardi Gras!Edit

  • Dr. Colbert started dancing in celebration of Mardi Gras
  • Fat Tuesday, Carnival, The Feast of Show Me Your Tits
  • Ray Nagin dressed as a man who doesn't care about getting re-elected
  • Stephen gave Mardi Gras beads away (one bead at a time) to the audience
    • they can show him nipples latter
  • Obama's first address to both houses of Congress
    • don't tell Stephen who won
  • stimulated the economy through sales of Paxil
  • hope resigned due to tax problems
  • It's 1997!
  • Ross and Rachel are back together
  • desperately keeping our Tamagotchis alive
  • stock market has a couple of bubbles ahead of it
  • go online and buy with new iMac
  • in the future Stephen will be a celebrity
  • logged onto AOL
    • Stephen was disconnected when his mom got on the phone

Bears & BallsEdit

  • dark times ahead
  • Circuit City
  • Linens and Things
  • Circuits & Linens (?)

Companies on the Brink

  • Sbarro
    • bail them out?
      • F*ck 'em
    • cut on cheese and tomatoes, start serving Crust Lover's Pizza
  • Six Flags
    • bail them out?
      • F*ck 'em (same goes to Sharon and Chuck)
    • stop buying all those flags; only 1 is needed
  • Muzak (Stephen's favorite band followed them from elevator to elevator)
    • against the law to light up in elevators
    • bail them out?

Nailed 'EmEdit

  • spike in crime
    • keep foot firmly planted on the neck
  • stop watching if you are breast feeding
    • or thinking of breast feeding
  • Don't share the plate, if you can't do the fate


  • vetting Dr. Colbert for the Obama administration
  • Stephen doesn't remember certain things
    • it was because he paid his taxes
  • Marbury first time Supreme Court struck down Congressional act as unConstitutional
  • Supremes invested itself with power
  • Marshall established rule of law
    • prior to that, we were monkeys trading coconuts
  • Adams packed the court with all his judges, officials
    • Jefferson didn't like it, commanded the letters of appointment not be delivered (18th century equivalent of not opening email)



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