The Colbert Report/Episode/515

< The Colbert Report | Episode

12,431pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share

Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
February 12, 2009
Production code:
Next Episode


The program started without a Statement of Truthiness

Happy Birthday, Abe!Edit

  • Abraham Lincoln's 200th birthday
  • one of our greatest Presidents
  • Stephen is the only one who can wish Lincoln in person
    • lead His Mob in a stirring rendition of "Happy Birthday"
    • America's Greatest Non-Reagan President
  • Abe needs a little fun
  • Dr. Colbert removes the stovepipe hat to replace it ...
    • ... and discovers Lincoln was a unicorn!
    • Mary Todd wasn't crazy after all

Another Obama ScandalEdit

  • more popular than Ferraro's poster by Georgia O'Keefe
  • Fairey countersued AP
  • Manny Garcia took the original photo
    • scares Stephen
  • all this legal talk confuses him
    • almost as bad as the last time he watched "Wheel of Fortune"
      • Pat Sajak needs to stop playing mind games
  • Stephen's gut tells him that everyone is right, he has no idea who to support
  • to help former Dir of Whitney Museum David Ross
    • former SF Museum of Modern Art
  • he says Fairey has the right to do what he did
  • he says Stephen could take Mona Lisa
  • resident copyright lawyer, Dr. Colbert's brother Ed
    • copyright lawyer with Kenyan & Kenyan, LLP
  • says AP can sue
  • asks Ross if the original photographer has rights too
    • Manny has to say it's art
  • Ed says Kitty is fine; she's in the audience
  • test for copyright is original, unique
  • does Obama have any claims on it
  • public figure cannot control the use of their image
  • Ross calls Stephen a commercial public figure
  • Ed will get a drink after the show
  • Obama has two rights
  • Ed defended AP, photographer and Obama without distinction
    • he only believes who ever pays him is right
  • believes Shepard Fairey is right

The DaColbert CodeEdit

  • Dr. Colbert has been gifted with an arcane
  • American Psychiatric Society calls it schizophrenia; Stephen calls it The DaColbert Code
  • Who killed John F. Kennedy?
    • it was suicide!
  • Oscar Night
    • last time, Dr. Colbert predicted them all
    • He's never seen the movies; he's only seen the posters outside the theater while he's protesting
  • Best Supporting Actress
    • Penelope Cruz
  • Best Actress
    • Kate Winslet
  • Best Supporting Actor
    • Heath Ledger
  • Best Actor
    • Sean Penn, no, no (Dr. Colbert won't have it)
      • Mickey Roarke
  • Best Picture
    • Slumdog Millionaire
  • they could give it to the Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  • take all the bailout money and bet it in the White House Oscar pool
    • it's safer than a bank

UPDATE (from the future)Edit

On Oscar night (February 23, 2009)

  • Dr. Colbert did indeed pick all the winners, since Sean Penn did win and when he was onstage he mentioned Mickey Roarke.


  • his theory that Darwin assassinated Lincoln
  • he argues Lincoln and Darwin
    • looking back we can see how
  • Stevie Wonder and Stephen share the same birthday
    • using his astrology
  • what they have in common with us
    • what they left us
  • claims Darwin had a spiritual side
    • his wife was an Evangelical
  • Darwin wrote On the Origin of Species to convince his wife
  • wrote his book that spiritual people needn't be threatened
  • Stephen is very tolerant of his wife's beliefs
  • how Lincoln changed the way liberal democracies can defend themselves
    • Stephen blacked out
  • Republicans believes at that time was spreading rights
  • many people helped things change in addition to Darwin and Lincoln
  • dispute what the last words said over Lincoln's body on his death bed
    • now he belongs to the angels or ages


  • Dr. Colbert didn't see us come back from commercial, because TV works in only one direction
  • Conan O'Brien is moving to LA to host Tonight Show
    • loves his zany characters
      • FedEx Pope
      • Coked-up Werewolf
      • Andy Richter
  • Stephen begins to cry
  • if he ever wants to do his dance again, he has to come back to New York and get his strings back
  • watch Conan's show every night ...
    • it's on at the same time as The Report!
    • Oh Noes!


Official Truthy VideosEdit

External TubesEdit

  • [URL Link Title]
  • [URL Link Title]

Reviews and CommentsEdit


Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki