The Colbert Report/Episode/502

< The Colbert Report | Episode

12,431pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share

Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
January 21, 2009
Production code:
Next Episode

The Check-InEdit


  • O Say Can O See
"It's Obama's first day and the economy's still in the toilet! Some change!"
  • Trademarked For Death
"And, I talk about copyright infringement! Incidentally, I trademarked the phrase Copyright Infringement™"
  • Who's On Verse?
"And, my guest Elizabeth Alexander was the poet at yesterday's inauguration! I'm gonna give her an Ezra Pounding!"

Flag quote open clear2
I, Stephen Colbert ... promise ... faithfully to ... I mean faithfully prom-aw fuck it!
Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
January 19, 2009 The Colbert Report


  • adulation feels like a nice warm hug
    • which Stephen loves
  • someone was just goosed by an icepick
  • he apologizes for his outburst
    • nothing worse than getting swept up for nothing
  • first thing Obama did was cause Roberts
    • he is the Justice Chief of the Court Supreme!
  • the oath problem was no harmless slip of the tongue
  • will have a huge impact on who FOX thinks is president
  • conservatives are stickler to the letter of the Constitution
  • whoever was on camera at noon
  • shame to lose our first African-American president
    • but we get our first Asian-American president
  • first vice president who is a cello

Election 2012Edit

  • technology has progressed
  • 2012 Presidential Election Coverage
    • Election 2012: Change's Revenge
  • Bobby Jindal
  • Mitt Romney is both Anglo and Saxon
  • Mike Huckabee's new book: Do The Right Thing
  • Sarah Palin has fallen behind her rivals
  • Iowa caucuses is 1076 days away
    • the race is all tied up it's too close to call!
  • Chuck Todd
    • calls the 2012 Republican Presidential for Romney, not Bobby Jindal, who is black (for GOP)
  • if you're not already in the running, you can't win
  • Obama started running in 2004
  • have campaigns stacked up like planes at LaGuardia
  • how can GOP get their states back
    • get more than white people to vote for them
  • then Chuck said something racist
  • this is Chuck's last day on NBC news


  • 2 weeks ago Dr. Colbert interviewed Lawrence Lessig about remixing and copyrights
  • Dr. Colbert made his own
  • he repeats his warning not to take his words and mix it to a dance beat and play it in a dance club
    • especially Chapter 7, which contains passages about homosexuals
  • his lawyers sue by the s-s-s-syllable


  • Elizabeth Alexander
    • inaugural poet "Praise Song For The Day"
    • read her poem at the inaugural, Stephen will ask how many of her poems can be read by cats
  • poems are not true; they're made up
    • Stephen feels betrayed and upset by J. Alfred Prufrock
  • poems should be emotionally true
    • they should feel true
  • mermaids are still singing to Dr. Colbert
  • what's the difference between metaphors and a lie
  • why not say what you mean, instead of dressing things up with flowery language
    • Stephen has a mountain in his pants, not a metaphor
  • they will analyze her poem line-by-line
  • a "Praise Song" is an ode
    • name something we rejoice in
  • occasional poem: poem written for an occasion
    • resonate for the event
  • like the theme to "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome"
    • we don't need another hero ...
  • marked by commonality of experience, not soaring rhetoric that gilds Obama
  • economy about language
  • Stephen's poem suggestion:
    • Hickory dickory dock, we elected a guy named Barack


  • that's it for the show everybody; good night


Motherload VideosEdit

External TubesEdit

  • [URL Link Title]
  • [URL Link Title]

Reviews and CommentsEdit


Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki