Fandom

Wikiality

The Colbert Report/Episode/492

< The Colbert Report | Episode

12,424pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Production InfoEdit

FlyingEaglePREV
Previous Episode
Date:
January 5, 2009
Season:
Season5
Episode:
492
Production code:
5001
FlyingEagleNEXT
Next Episode

IntroEdit

The first show of the New Year opened with the theme


Big Changes For The New Year!Edit

  • Dr. Colbert began the show reminding America about the old drinking adage:
    • liquor before beer, never fear; beer before liquor never sicker
  • of course, Dr. Colbert followed offered an addition:
    • grain alcohol before egg nog wake up spooning with a seagull in a reservoir
  • Alan joined Stephen behind The C Desk on his own chair
  • Stephen had Alan read off a list of words and phrases which he would be allowed to say:
    • Right again, Stephen!
    • Booyah!
    • Brilliant insight, Stephen!
    • Aw snap!
    • Hamburger, you're good!
    • Boom! Goes the dynamite!
  • They begin their first segment discussing Illinois governor and cranial muskrat smuggler, Rod Blagojevich's selection to replace Senator Barack Obama, who was elected president.
  • after an extensive and well-cited analysis regarding the imposing taint surrounding Blaogjevich, Dr. Colbert remarked that the current taint is the biggest taint since Michigan Senator, John Longcrotch
  • Dr. Colbert was able to discover Harry Reid's true intentions after hearing Brown Haired Guy Who's Not Steve Doocey explain the democrat's hidden racism
    • Democrats only elected Obama to the presidency in order to get him out of their all-white Senate
      • thus giving him a separate, but equal branch of government
  • More proof that the Democrats are racist: they are fighting to seat Al Franken
  • Dr. Colbert insisted that his liberal co-host explain how racist Democrats are using a scale that ranges from "Archie Bunker" to "The Klan"
  • Dr. Colbert doesn't know how many blacks Republicans have because he doesn't see race, but Harry Reid does
    • Reid doesn't want Burris to vote or own property
  • The hero of the whole story is Rod Blagojevich, whose civil right's leadership should be rewarded with his own holiday
  • Al Franken may be seated and Stephen is outraged because he doesn't think a comedian should be allowed to run for public office
    • Blagojevich's next appointment may be Carrot Top or Gallagher, who can use Palosi's gavel to squash watermelons, but not in the racist way like Colmes inferred

SEGMENT3Edit

  • Alan tells Stephen he has read Tek Jansen and deduced that Stephen doesn't like books
  • Stephen tells him to put the book back on the shelf then he introduced the newest episode of Tek adventures.
  • Episode 3 of the New Tek Jansen Adventures
    • Venus Williams!

InterviewEdit

  • John King
  • as Stephen goes to interview his guest, he tells Colmes to "stay"
  • White House Correspondent for CNN
    • new host for CNN's Sunday morning program at 9 a.m.
      • might call it The King Report

Stephen suggests

  • On The John
  • Stephen thanked him for getting Obama elected
  • King admitted he made mistakes on the run-up to the war
    • Stephen didn't
  • the buck should stop with Obama
    • it may have started with Bush, but it should stop with Obama
  • Presidents leave notes for each other
    • Bush's note for Obama may be a rebus

EpilogueEdit

  • Dr. Colbert closes the show at The C Desk with Alan
  • talking about Bush's legacy tour and compares him to a 7-layer cake, the layers being:
    • resolute
    • family man
    • brush clearing rancher
    • man of God
  • Alan interrupts to say that Stephen didn't mention 7 layers
  • Stephen continues, by naming the other layers:
    • Good athlete
    • chocolate
    • coconut
    • graham cracker crust
  • Alan interrupts again, telling Stephen that he named 8 layers
  • Stephen fires Alan for interrupting him
    • Alan whines that he has a contract that says Stephen will have to pay him for 5 years
  • Stephen consents, writes the check
    • then Alan turns into a bat and flies away
  • Dr. Colbert invites everyone to watch tomorrow when the show will be:
    • The Colbert Report, Colmes-free Since 2009!

GalleryEdit

Motherload VideosEdit

External TubesEdit

  • [URL Link Title]
  • [URL Link Title]

Reviews and CommentsEdit

Colbert&amp;ColmesEpLogo

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki