Hey, Baby! Wanna suck my everlasting gobstopper?

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I Feel Your Pain!
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~ Bill Clinton

The Clinton Curse is a gypsy curse that destroys the reputation and credibility of any Republican who may have tried to tell the truth about Bill Clinton. After trying to get the story out in the librul media, these innocent Americans suffered terrible consequences. As a result, many of these patriots found themselves embroiled in extra-marital affairs of their own that none of them remember to have started.

Origins of the CurseEdit

Albright judd

The Gypsy in question… you wish it was the one on the right…

In 1998, a group of Republican Congressmen got together for a good old-fashioned “Impeach The President” trip[1]. The itinerary consisted of all-American activities such as camping, hiking, and staking claim to the moral high ground. But, on their way home the Congressmen had the misfortune of running over a gypsy woman. They thought they got away with it... they were wrong...

Known Victims of the CurseEdit

  • Rep. Bob Livingston (R - LA): He may have slept with whores, so he resigned to stop the curse, unfortunately the curse was transferred to his successor.
  • Newt Gingrich (Speaker of The House): He tried to break the Curse by marrying his mistress, but no luck; to this day he remains a giant toad.
  • Rep. Larry Craig ( R D - ID): He was arrested for soliciting gay sex in an airport bathroom.
(According with legend, if you say Larry Craig’s name three times in a public men’s room stall, you will be arrested by undercover cops)
  • Rep. Mark Sanford ( R D - SC): His reputation was destroyed after hiking the Appalachians Trail sleeping with his Argentinian mistress and falling in love with her. (he may have more mistresses in the way. Hey, South America is big!)

The only one who doesn’t seem to be affected by The Clinton Curse… is Bill Clinton!!!!

Additional Victims of the CurseEdit

  • David Vitter (R - LA): He tried to restore integrity to his seat by only sleeping with prostitutes, but somehow the curse found him as well.
  • John Ensign (R - NV): He once called for Bill Clinton's resignation declaring that "The truth must come out" and someone "came" indeed...

The Curse in 2015Edit

The Clinton Curse is still claiming new victims. On May 28, 2015, Dennist Hastert (R D-IL)[1] a former Congressman and Speaker of the United States House of Representatives teacher and wrestling coach was arrested for giving a bad touch to a male student during a wrestling match.[2]


  1. This was a common activity in America during the 1980's

External TubesEdit

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