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The Chocolate

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Random5
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"WHERE ARE THE NACHOS? MY CAT REFUSES TO BATHE!"
I kill what I fear and I fear what I don't understand, and I don't understand this.
Be less random and more truthy--use your gut.
EddieEagleNRA
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"The Chocolate"
is for the kids!

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Chocolate, first discovered in the late 21st century, was initially thought to be a treatment for herpes. Sadly, after a few months of rigorous testing, it failed to meet current medical standards and all testing ceased.

Currently, chocolate is used as a comfort food for fatties, who often claim that "without chocolate, life is meaningless".

The entire city of New Orleans is made out of chocolate, sandwiched by a graham cracker crust of corruption; it's basically a mallomar.

Chocolate in the Media Edit

  • On December 3, 1997, Fox News did an informative segment on the dangers of chocolate. After the airing of this segment, chocolate sales dropped 34%, and did not pick up until the popular rebuttal given by AOL.com on its official website.
  • Some people claim that chocolate is nothing more than a phase within the media itself, while others feel that its influence on mainstream media is persistent to this day.

Chocolate in Pop Culture Edit

  • Chocolate, deemed "the food of the devil" by Michael Jackson in the late '80s, has become an over-night success.
  • On the internets, chocolate often refers to a person who is unable to learn from their mistakes.
  • Some deem the term chocolate as 'racist', as it is often used to describe fairies who wish to become humans.

Chocolate in Food Edit

Chocolate is one of the key ingredients in cocoa puffs, as well as the key ingredient in gasoline.

Dangers of ChocolateEdit

While chocolate in itself is not to be feared, one of its neighbors on the Edible Chain of Being, the dreaded milk, is. Since the eating of chocolate usually triggers an insatiable thirst for milk, one should be sure to use extreme caution when attempting to consume even small quantities of chocolate. Only true heroes will be able to manage.

Also, when injecting chocolate directly into the bloodstream, make sure that the chocolate is melted or it will clog your veins and blow your mind (literally).

Contrary to popular belief, chocolate should not be spread on open wounds.

If you put chocolate in your back pocket and forget about it it will mix with the organs in your rear end and you will most likely poop yourself. This phenomenon is often mistaken for the chocolate just melting but this is a lie that was started by NASA.

See Also Edit

  • Willy Wonka (inventor of chocolate)
  • Cocoa Puffs (round chocolate)
  • Polar Bars (bear shaped chocolate)
  • Polar Bears (named after bear shaped chocolate)
  • Yoo-hoo (and on the second day in the late afternoon, God said, let me have the greatest chocolatey drink ever to be tasted by mortal tongues. and it was so)

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