The Bear

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Tu-95 1

Tupolev - 95 "The Bear"Edit

A primitive but effective piece of technology in the arsenal against the freedoms of America. It is distinctive by having four propellers in the age of jets, that and that it carries bears.


"The Bear" is based on a stolen American design. After brave American fighters were forced to crash land their B-29 bomber during WWII, they had no choice but to go into Siberia. Fortunately all of the crew survived, but the damaged B-29 was left behind, falling into the hands of Siberian bears. These crafty bears were able to reverse engineer a design too advanced for them to conceive on their own.



Stephen Colbert shadowing a "The Bear"

The goal of the bear race has always been the same, but the tactics have changed. With the Tupolev, their plan has been to enter US of A's air space and drop elite units of mutant bears onto unsuspecting God-embracing Americans.

Thanks to American heroes, Ronald Reagan, Stephen Colbert, and Michael Medved, all invasion attempts have so far been thwarted.

Intelligence DataEdit


CIA spy photo showing bear preparing for flight check

Tu-95 3

Remember kids, Stephen says memorize your spotter cards

See Also Edit

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