The Beagle
is science-related, sending it straight to hell.

The Beagle was a British ship sent to the Galapagos Islands on a routine expedition to conquer, colonize and bring Christianity to the native peoples there.

Upon arriving in the archipelago, no natives were to be found, other than a variety of tortoises and sea birds that God had placed there earlier.

Mutiny on The BeagleEdit

Communist deckhand Charles Darwin fomented a mutiny among the crew and turned the noble expansionist mission of The Beagle into a dark 'scienctific' journey. The mutiny may have been caused by Darwin's belief that the differing sea birds of various islets were probably all descended from common ancestors. Or perhaps he was all like high on the wacky seaweed.

Regardless, Darwin's insistence that the 'survival of the fittest' had led to the differences among the birds, causing 'evolutionary' changes in their appearance, flew in the face of the truth; those birds look exactly like they did when Noah dropped them off there on his journey to Mt. Ararat.

The Beagle's First Mate, British Naval Lieutenant Stephen Smythe-Colbert, bravely fought to regain control of the vessel but was set adrift in the ship's longboat with sixpence, a Holy Bible and some hardtack. After a twenty-three month odyssey at sea, in a feat of unparalled seamanship, he returned to Portsmouth Harbour on the back of a sperm whale. Unfortunately, he arrived too late to stop the publication of Darwin's fairy tale On the Origin of Species (also known as On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life, or In Your Face Christianity!)

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.