Terrorists hate freedom and are enemies of democracy. That is unless they are fighting for freedom and democracy, unless they might affect america from buying oil, then they are again terrorists.Their sole purpose in life is to destroy America and Israel, using Actors such as the Jane Fonda. They enjoy teasing Republicans, denying the Bible was written by republicans a hundred years ago, and eating babies is not what you do if you are a true american. All terrorists in the world are Liberals. (or George Bush) They are all from Hollywood, and most likely like virgins. (anal virgins, as they have not visited the deep south homeland of republica on a canoeing trip) Because the terrorists are actors, they "act" like our friends from the Middle East; The ones who let us use their delicious OIL! Posing as Middle Easterners they even 'act' like they have a religion that ISN'T Christianity. LIES! We know the so-called "War on Iraq" is being producing in a soundstage deep inside Alec Baldwin's Hair (see).
Best Place to Fight ThemEdit
Over there, so we won't have to fight them here. we have not won a war here, ever, as you technically can't win a civil war, and the war of independance was helped (a lot) by the french, so they actually won the only war in north america.
Better yet, we should fight them in the past, where they might fight us--before they would have reason to fight us--here, in the present. A current tactic in fighting Terrorists is turning their homebase Hollywood into a Smog factory, therefore the term could be better termed "Chemical Warfare". Don't dwell on the possibility Real Americans might get hurt (seriously, stop it), all Real Americans got the hell out of there YEARS ago, to live in the fruitier parts of san fran cisco(servers)
The terrorists use anything they can get their sweaty hands on to hurt America and The Baby Jesus. As long as it doesnt cost more than $5,000, they are terrorists not commies, commies don't have real weapons, they just know amricans are scared of anything long pointy and painted green, and shout a lot from their household bunkers.
- Union thugs (aka public teachers)
- Car bombs
- Michael Moore
- Segway scooters
- Ali Coli, a sleeper cell specializing in bioterrorism
- The forgiving nature of the American People
- Recently surfaced black-market Iranian weapons in circulation for at least 8 years
- Audio messages recorded using cutting edge Windows sound recorder technology
- Word of mouth
- The Teacher's Union
- Volunteer Labor
- Secret Codes like "Open Sesame"
- Forked Tongues
- Multi-Pronged Attacks (Many Headed Snakes)
- Monies and Facilities provided by Saudi Arabian Sympathizers
- Black Market Prescription Drugs
- Al Franken
- The Twitter
- The Internet
Known Terrorist SupportersEdit
- The republican party, funding the huja hadeen for over 12 years
- The unted states, fnding al ki ee da, for nearly as long as item 1
- Israelis (funded by the US)
- Saddam Hussein (funded by the US ans supported by oild sales)
- Illegal Immigrants
- Osama bin Laden (funded by the US in his family construction business building US government establishments, with huge kickbacks)
- These Un-american traitors
- CNN (aka The Libural Media)
- Subway Sandwich Shop
- Gov. Ed Rendell
- All Foreign People Everywhere
- AID workers
- Freedom hating hippies
- un-american traitors who believe in Jebus
- 9/11 Responders who receive free socialized medicine, for free!
- Fake Republicans
- un-american traitors who hate the Founding Fathers' Religion
NB: America never supported the IRA and never funded them, the Armalites (pictured above) and other resources were aquired by other means.....(we dropped them by mistake honest) in no way were they told to stand down so that the War on Terrorism could get support and in no way did the conflict in Northern Ireland resemble a vicious religious war with an occupying power stuck in the middle (see the development currently under way in the mid-west - we have to keep them busy somewhere). The IRA were never suppiled with weapons and ammunition from LIBYA (funded by the US- supplied with Israeli weapons) or found training the "Resistance" in South America (Truthiness in action).
Types of TerroristsEdit
Which is Why Al-Qaeda prefers American born Terrorists
- Islamic Fasco-Terrorist
- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
- Terror Terrorist
- V (the only cool terrorist)
- Clean Skin Terrorist
- no-talent Canadians
- The Mexican Terrorist
- The Terror Family Sleeper Cell
- Terrorists from Turkey
- Old people
- Clumsy British Terrorist: Mr. Bean Jihad
- Indian Mooslim UN Terrorist
- Hungry children
NB: The IRA were freedom fighters just like Bin Lardon ...... their past conflict in no way resembles the insurgents in Iraq. (Truthiness in action).
- Fund raising (see notes elsewhere on Irish American culture)
- Bomb Tester
- Bomb Maker
- Number 2
- Fashion Consultant (See: Rachel Ray)
- Pastry Maker (See: Roses of the Prophet Mohammad)
Who is A TerroristEdit
- On the continental United States, native americans were the first terorists, and freedom fighters - they didn't last long.
- The second terrorists were the Americans that fought against their natural superiors, licking the arses of the french until the english had to back off because of the stench.
- The third, were (dependant on your viewpoint) the Confederates, or the other lot (you know the ones in the silly blue getup), in a battle between two clans of lunatic fringe idealists, killing scores of their own countrymen, engaging in a scorched earth policy, and starving thousands in the process, outside of the americas, it is as yet uncertain which lot won, but the guess is the fat ones.
- Brown People
- The Gays
- Black People
- Brazilian Electricians
- Babies (from non-white families)
- Brown people flying on airplanes, why else are they flying?
- Ink Cartridge Printers
- People from Turkey
- Anyone that looks brown
- Anyone who believes in Islam
- angry wives
angry rightwing white chrisitan Norwegian
- Journalists who look mooslim
- Nada Prouty, the most liberal terrorist of them all.
- The Twitter
Who is Not TerroristEdit
Patriotic Tools to Stop TerrorismEdit
- Enhanced Interrogation Techniques
- Real American Robots
- Spam: It's not just for food or porn!
- Liberation Camps: Teaching your children how to fight the terrorists!
- Saddam Hussein
- Osama bin Laden
- Ned Lamont
- Abu Musab al-Zarqawi
- Ayman al-Zawahiri
- Mahamoud Ahamedjihateamericahad
- Al Qaeda Digest
- Terrorist Killing Weapons
- Terrorists joins local High School and becomes class bully
- terrorists wants love too
- Innocent man finally freed!
- Terrorists demand equal rights
- French Tranny escapes from Guantanamo Prison
- Taliban captures mini-feminazi
- Terrorist Scientist Builds Superweapon: Blackhole Machine!!
- mini-terrorists kills infidel snitch
- Terrorists join the fight to stop Feminazi threat
- Barie joins The Taliban
- Al Qaeda now recruiting blood and creeps!
- Right-wing Militant demands destruction of middle-east
- Zombies Added to the No-Fly List
- America demands the "All Brown People Are Terrorist Act" to defend our Homeland
- Terrorists to build a bridge to Islam
- Terrorist are not human, ergo no human experimentation exist
- mini-terrorist tries to hijack plane
- Freedom of Speech is now Terrorism!
- Terrorists love Harry Potter
- Hamas giving birth to C4 babies in the US!!!
- The Onion: Al Qaeda Edition
- Terrorists know magic!
- How England kept us safe from Terrorism
- Al Qaeda to rename magazine to: "Die Filthy Western Infidels Jihad Al-Qaida 9/11"
- Mooslims now brainwashing our children!!!
- Terrorist Democrat continues his reign of terror
- Brave hero stops bomber in the future
- FBI to take over Terrorism, inc
- Terror Watch: Mooslim brown lady escapes from
fjail!! Police fails to send her to Guantanamo to keep us safe!!!!
- Real Americans to fight terrorism