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Tennis

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Steroids
GWBushCheerleader
We've got spirit, YES WE DO!!
We've got spirit, how 'bout
Tennis!?!


Tennis is a sport played on a "court" with a net between the two opponents.

PlayersEdit

Tennis may be played between 2 people or two teams of 2 players on each team.

When played with only 2 people (one on each side) it is called "singles"; when 4 people play (2 people on each team on either side of the net) it is called "doubles".

Usually, doubles would be played with one man-one woman (called mixed doubles), but because so many lesbians play tennis, they insist on playing with four women on the court at one time, this is called "an abomination".

CourtEdit

Tennis courts rectangular flat surfaces, mostly made of grass, clay, or concrete. The court is usually 78 feet long, with a width of 27 feet for singles matches and 36 feet for doubles matches. A net is stretched across the width of the court dividing it into two equal ends. The net is 3 feet 6 inches high at the ends, but droops down to 3 feet high in the center.

Who can playEdit

Any hard-core asian kid who gets straight A+'s.

Any white boy who gets rewarded for C+'s and then gets homeschooled because his parents think that he is the greatest.

Any Democrat who gets humiliated by Steven Colbert.

Any Republican.

ScoringEdit

For Hard-Core Asians - A grain of rice for every time the other person/team misses the ball. A 1-month GameCube penalty if they miss the ball.

For White Boys - A new Xbox 720 if they other person/team misses the ball. An all-you-can-eat buffet and a participant's trophy if they miss the ball.

For Democrats - A vote against George Bush if the other person/team misses the ball. Another humiliation at the hands of Steven Colbert if they miss the ball.

For Republicans - A whole minute of non-heckling by reporters if the other person/team misses the ball. A whole hour of heckling by reporters if they miss the ball.

RefereesEdit

Unlike most sports, tennis referees are too sissy to actually stand or run around ON the court. Rather, they demand to sit on high chairs and referee from there.

Ball BoysEdit

White boys who have to do community service for stealing golf clubs.

See AlsoEdit

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