If you work hard, you'll get ahead as a

A teacher is a woman who reads books to a room full of pre-surge-eligible children.


Some teachers are "hot". But don't get "hot for teacher", or Eddie and Alex will demand royalties!

This article is about the type of teacher who has no children because she can't get a man. For the best kind of teachers, click here.

Who Can Become A Teacher?Edit

Only girls can become teachers. Men have other important things to do. Plus looking after children is ladies' work.

Men were not designed to handle children. This is why SAHDs are an abomination.

As are male teachers.

Who Cannot Become A Teacher?Edit

There are many unAmerican types who are not allowed near children while they are trapped in public schools prior to the Homeshool Revolution!

The following persons are not allowed to be teachers:

  • men
  • gays
  • lesbians (there will be some exceptions to Hotmosexuals)
  • wizards
  • communists
  • muslims
  • blacks, but only in white schools
  • scientists, but only in Bible Schools

What Education Does A Teacher Need?Edit

A teachers only has to be one lesson ahead of her students. So, what education does a teacher need? None, really.


Seriously, where were they when I was a kid????

Where Do Teachers Work?Edit


You are probably asking yourself, “Where were these slutty sexy teachers in my school!?...” I am with ya…

A school is a building made by liberals to house their knock-offs while they have abortions or smoke crack.

Sometimes both.

At the same time--one to relieve the pain of the other.

What Do Teachers Do?Edit

Teachers take roll call to make sure all the children are in their seats. They lead a recitation of America's pledge and acceptable Bible passages.

They also diagram sentences.

How Much Money Does A Teacher Make?Edit

Factonistas are always saying teachers should get paid more because they are something something with the future of something something. Come on, teachers get paid what the market will bear and not one darn cent more! If a teacher wants to make more money, get another job.

What Is The Average Work Day Like For A Teacher?Edit

Teacher ceo

The Evil and Selfishness of Teachers

When not having sex with their pupils, teachers spend most of the day sitting behind desks and reading. Sometimes the reading is out loud, other times, it is to herself.

White teachers help urban youths overcome their environment and get abortions. They also help them read and go to college and write poetry based on drunk Irish guys.

Most importantly, teachers do what they're told not by their local school board or school's principal or parents of their students, but by upstanding Christian leaders from other communities, who most certainly know more than some chick sitting in some classroom, who is only one lesson ahead of her charges.

Hawt TubesEdit

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