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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.
Despite what you may have heard
Is totally not gay!

Pete Tchaikovsky, also known as Petey T, was an honorary American composer, stud, patriot, and general bad-ass.

Thanks to his romantic classical music hits he was very popular with the laydeez. Unfortunately, the liberal factonistas have busily spread lies about him being gay, which is just crazy talk!

But more importantly, he was a true American patriot, despite being born in Russia and having only briefly stepped foot on American soil. His fervor for Uncle Sam, apple pie and all the good stuff is clear in his rock epic The 1812 Overture. That song was written to commemorate America's crushing victory over the British in the War of 1812.

Songs Written by Petey T Edit

  • The 1812 Overture - heralding America's triumph over the British
  • The Nutcracker - a tribute to his domineering and sexually demanding wife Antonina
  • Eugene One-gin' - a rock opera about a guy with an alcohol problem

Trivia Edit

  • His last name means "like a seagull", and came from his hobbies of harassing pigeons and pooping on horse-drawn carriages.
  • Pete was supported for many years by a "sugar momma", Nadezhda von Meck, clearly showing the dude was a playa!

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