December 13, 2007Edit

Just a quick observation by the folks over here in Plymouth, that's right, Plymouth as in: Home of the Plymouth Whalers. The page says Plymouth is in Canada. No. It's in Michigan. Trust us. We know. We're there.

We don't do facts here. --GlennBecksAT**l (talk) 17:58, 13 December 2007 (UTC)

April 11, 2007Edit

First up, athletes second favorite sport: crime. Pac Man Jones and Chris Henry's suspensions are discussed - but Stephen believes players prone to crime are essential to the NFL's success. Phil Spector should be drafted immediately (he even has his own helmet).

Next, the devastating loss of the Saginaw Spirit to the Greyhounds in their first round game, and a fond video retrospective of the Spirit's magical season.

March 22, 2007Edit

Stephen reveals he's getting destroyed in his NCAA office pool. His bracket is decimated. He is #37 of 37 participants, behind even Puneet, The Report's foreign exchange student and Mr. Whiskers, the office cat.

Next, Stephen covers the growing dearth of hot cock on cock action in America, after Louisiana considered a ban on cockfighting.

Stephen then moves on to the only sport that matters, Ontario Junior League Hockey. The big news: Saginaw is in the playoffs! Only 16 of 22 teams in the OHL made it. Spirit face off against the Soo Greyhounds on March 23, 2007. Stephen called Coach Mancini to encourage him to double the amount of forechecking in the neutral zone. Stephen also sent a care package of "linseed oil" for the Spirit players to inject. Stephen also threw out the idea of pulling the goalie for the whole game, going 6 on 5 for the whole playoffs, and possibly putting a golden retriever on the ice á la Air Bud.

Just 16 victories until the Spirit hoist the J. Ross Robertson Cup in triumph.

Thanks -- I'll write it up after I catch the replay. --DS

March 14, 2007Edit

Stephen goes over bracket picks for the 2007 NCAA Tournament (see Notes on Discussion page)

Did he say anything about the Spirit? If not, then that's why this didn't even show up on my radar screen. --DeagleSteagle

January 25, 2007Edit

Big ups to El Payo for the notes and to YouTube for the clip. --DS

Re-Title This pageEdit

When Colbert started this segment, it was called "Stephen Colbert's Sports Update." However, it is clear now that after his second time doing it, that the name "Stephen Colbert's Sport Report" (pronounced Spor Repor) has caught on. This page should be re-titled to reflect this. I do not have the ability to do it, so hopefully someone can help me out. Meanwhile, "Stephen Colbert's Sports Update" should redirect to the re-titled page. --DS

Deagle Steagle Updates to His Homies on WikialityEdit

I was in Canada following the Saginaw Spirit on their road games, so I missed the Report for most of the week of 11/6 - 11/9. Colbert was probably busy due to the election and all that, so there was likely no sports update anyway. --DS

Please be patient with me. I work hard for the man, keeping that rocket ship of an American economy rolling quicker than you can say "The Saginaw Spirit bring the puck up the ice." This causes me to doze off into slumberland before the Colbert Report comes on TV. I will write a proper addition to this page containing all of the contents of the 12-5-2006 Spor Repor as soon as I catch the replay at 8:30 PM EST. Good night, and good luck. --DeagleSteagle

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