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Tad is the building manager at The Colbert Report. His job at The Report depends solely upon his ability to finding ways to either honor or save Stephen. This includes regularly testing out how to save Stephen in case of an emergency, finding vacant buildings to honor Stephen in, attending auctions, and keeping Stephen in shape by tumbling and wrestling.
Tad, unfortunately, has no health insurance. This is probably because he has close to perfect health. Although he does not need to work out, Tad still enjoys bulking up. One way that Tad packs on the abs is tumbling. Often times, Stephen and Tad will practice tumbling on top of their building, or in the privacy of Stephen's office closet (intimacy is important in tumbling). Stephen and Tad spend many of their weekends at Stephen's cabin, where they wrestle in loose clothing.
- He was once suspected of stealing Paul Dinello's identity; the case is still considered open.
- He does not have a last name, though had he one, it would be rumored to be "Lincoln".
- He has no age.
- His name may be spelled as Thad with no ill side effects.
- He drives a minivan.
- Owns a cardboard cut-out of Stephen Colbert.
- Attempted to save the impoverished hellhole of Tuscumbia in Colbert County, Alabama.
- He has once killed a man in a wheelchair.
- He enjoys a nice game of Ping Pong.
- Until mid-April of 2007 was still locked in the col-bunker.
- You can grate cheese on his abs, and it will miraculously take crumble form.
- Owns the famous Helen Keller pump.
- He has perfectly smooth thighs.
- Has never once thought of betraying his master, Stephen Colbert.
- Cannot tell the difference between an eagle and a chicken.
- Has notorious Oprah-Gail 'not gay' relationship with Stephen Colbert
- Tad once stole Cthulhu's lunch money.