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TNT (short for trinitrotoluene) is a type of explosive used by the bears to clear arctic mine shafts in preparation for the bear uprising of 2012. Real Americans use the truthicule bomb, invented by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA in effort to vanquish the colbear (as chronicled in The Rampaging Colbert). Dr. Colbert used no science in the creation of the truthicule bomb; only the tremendous strength of his gut.
History of TNTEdit
The history of TNT spans as far back as 1 B.C., when the celebrated Dr. Stephen Colbert was fathered by himself and conceived in an Atlantis laboratory by a bear. At this time, bears were hardworking Americans who loved Jesus and tuned in regularly to the Colbert Report. Unfortunately, a vat of Dr. Colbert's highly volatile formula 401 -- his personal genetic material along with xanthan gum and high fructose corn syrup -- was purposely mixed with bear excrement recovered from the woods by a Chuck Norris posing as Walker, Texas Ranger to avoid suspicion. Norris then injected Colbert's formula 401/bear feces into himself, thereby creating and later birthing the evil 'Colbear' -- Stephen Colbert's nemesis and proprietor of the 2012 bear uprising. Colbear, with the aid of Chuck Norris and the Axis of Evil, initiated a global conspiracy, in which they bombed the polar bear capital Klondike in the arctic and blamed it on human terrorists. Colbear then manipulated the bear population to give up their rights for 'saftey' purposes, using the event as an excuse to build a new weapon of mass destruction known today as TNT. Of course, due to Colbear's liberal upbringing, it failed to foresee that TNT would end up being complete sh*t not capable of anything useful.
Uses of TNTEdit
- Blowing up America's planet
- Assassinating road runners
- Bear food