Stephen scrubs swc
After a thorough examination, Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.
has diagnosed you as suffering from a case of
when you touch yourself you make The Baby Jesus sad!
Keep your hands where we can see them!

Syphilis, along with children, is God's punishment for having sex. This dirty, filthy disease is widespread among voting booths in Democratic-leaning districts, which is the best explanation so far for the election of Barack Hussein Obama.

Should you contract syphilis, do not seek medical attention. God is the only one fit to cure you, with healthy doses of agonizing pain and eventual insanity. Some people will tell you to take Penicilin, but don't listen; God will be offended by this mockery of His will, even more than He is by your sluttiness.

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