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Swords are long, pointy, stabby things used by eccentric millionaires to open letters and by nerds to feel cool.

Days Of YoreEdit

In bygone days they were the God-given weapon bestowed on every man who was rich enough to afford one. They were a noble tool used to fight liberals, infidels, and insolent peasants.

Modern TimesEdit


Governor Schwarzenegger famously used a sword to vanquish legions of liberal "girlie men" lurking in the California government.

More recently swords have fallen on hard times (causing serious blood loss and even harder times). Their fall from popularity is commonly credited to the pen, which was determined to be a mightier weapon. The arrival of the gun pushed them even lower on the weaponry totem pole.

However, swords have seen a resurgence in recent years, and are once again considered as a viable weapon. This change in fortunes is largely due to Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose closet nerd tendancies emerged upon his election as Governor of California. The Governator wasted no time in donning his head band and loin cloth, and decimating the liberal State government with his trusty sword "Maria".

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