Switzerland is a land of chocolate, gold, and cutlery amidst the mountains and the snow. Switzerland is always neutral and never fights in wars unless somebody attacks the Pope. Switzerland is incredibly rich. This is due in large part to all the Nazi Gold that they secretly stole. If you go to a Swiss bank and enter a random account number, you have a 50-50 chance of retrieving a large sum of money, or being thrown into a pit of caged, agnostic bears
Switzerland is not part of NATO, so as to confuse the enemies of democracy and freedom. Unfortunately, the French have invaded Switzerland passively. Only German vigilantes can save the European America from the European Mexicans.
Switzerland - The Bear Sanctuary Edit
Switzerland has a long connection with Bears going back over 800 years. It's capital Bern was founded in 1191. The city's name literally means "Bears".
The Swiss love bears. Frommer's Switzerland describes the city's bears as "beloved, pampered, and fed by both residents and visitors." These bears are housed in pits known as the "Bear Pits"!!! The Swiss have recently reintroduced black bears back into the Swiss Alps where they had been previously been vanquished for centuries.
On top of all that damning evidence, the country of Switzerland itself is shaped like a bear.
Switzerland has experimented with a cross-breeding of squids and bears. After scientologists succeeded in creating an abomination, Stephen Colbert was called in to defeat one of the most fearsome beasts every created by left-wing liberals. While in Switzerland, Stephen Colbert killed all of the scientologists, just to make sure such a mistake never happened again.
The following is made up by NAMBLA: "According to the CIA World Factbook, Switzerland is "a major international financial centre vulnerable to the layering and integration stages of money laundering; despite significant legislation and reporting requirements, secrecy rules persist and nonresidents are permitted to conduct business through offshore entities and various intermediaries..." However, Switzerland's cooperation in transnational financial issues has been praised by several major U.S. officials."
This is all completly false. When the Swiss are involved with money laundry, that means the Euro's are temperarly transported to a local cleaning facility to be scrubbed of dirt and grim (possibly blood...depending on the heist).
Stephen always has his laundry done in Geneva. In switzerland Bears beware
- Switzerland to adopt socialism!
- Switzerland Welfare Queens bankrupts country
- Switzerland to fight off un-christian zombies
- Switzerland wins the war on terror!
- EU supports Jihad against Switzerland!
- Joos to help hunt down terrorists
- Swiss town to end wymins oppression
- Switzerland stops dangerous terrorist