is a proud member
of Stephen Colbert's family!

Whats that? You wanna kill the audience?

Sweetness is Stephen Colbert's gun. She's a talkative firearm, and to that end, she's now the co-hostess of "Trigger Happy", a segment on The Colbert Report. She went on vacation with Dr. Colbert to D.C., and then later shot an audience member twice to help keep the media attention away from Sarah Palin.

Things that Sweetness has whispered to StephenEdit

  • We should kill the audience.
  • Yes, I think we really should kill the audience. They just don't understand what you and I have.
  • One day, a real rain will come to wash the scum from the streets. Dress appropriately.
  • Now that the Cold War is over, NATO has become somewhat obsolete. Also, kill the audience.
  • Is that ANOTHER gun in your pocket?
  • Waiting is for the non-armed. Can we skip those lines at Walt Disney World?
  • Stephen, there is something commemorating the victory of D.C. v. Heller!
  • Since it's my choice, I'd like to shoot fictional mobster Sonny Corleone.
  • We should kill the cameraman.
  • We should kill Republican Representative of Utah's 3rd Congressional District Jason Chaffetz.
  • Tell Mr. Chaffetz I said "hello."
  • I'm Pregnant


If a certain other wiki is accurate, Sweetness resembles a Colt Detective Special, Third Issue.


Type: Single Action/Double Action

Chamber: .38 Special

Length: 178 mm

Barrel length: 51 mm

Capacity: 6 rounds (all into the same guy)

People Sweetness Has ShotEdit

  • A guy in the audience
  • The same guy in the audience
  • That guy in the audience again
  • Stephen
  • Death
  • Drinky

External TubesEdit

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