This movie can be summed up in one word, STALKER!
I won't bore you with the details of the film. I'll give you a sense of it's truthiness. Superman is back, after 5 years of building vital interstellar trade agreements with one planet after the other, Superman finally returns to earth. After vanquishing the enemies of America in parallel universes, on other Anti American plains of existance, and on evil, freedom hating planets all over the universe, Superman comes home. On his return he finds that he is now only allowed to fight for truth, justice, and all that other stuff. This is unacceptable! Everyone knows that Superman fights for the American Way. Not the United Way people. The American one! And let me tell you, Superman is not happy about it. He has to work for the Daily Planet. Everyday going to work at this once great American newspaper, now just a liberally slanted visage of it's former self. What has happened to America while he was busting union reps on Alpha Centauri? Superman struggles to come to grip with these so called facts. He's mad as hell! An anger that only anti American sentiment can provoke. So, he does what Americans do in times of crisis. He seeks out his old scapegoat, Lex Luthor. In Superman's absence, Lex Luthor has been keeping America running like a top. Since his prior defeat, by Superman, Luthor has really cleaned up his act. Luthorcorp's mission has agreed with the President 125% of the time. That's a good record. But Superman, obviously under the influence of some horrible side effect of yellow journalism, starts going after Luthorcorp. And people, that means he's against The President, and freedom itself.
Lois Lane Edit
What is with this Lois Lane? What has she done to Superman? Superman might be super, he might be able to walk really fast, and fly, and do other super stuff, he might be from another planet, but he is just a man. And this Lois Lane is just putting the screws to him, though not literally. She's turned Superman into a crazy person, flying to and fro in his pajamas, notknowing whether he should be rescueing some Republican Americans caught in a rainstorm while sailing off the coast of Connecticut, or trying to get into her pants. And what would that accomplish anyway? Her whole body would explode if he climaxed inside of her. But that's what she deserves.
A Lesson For All Females Edit
If you know of someone with super powers, drop them draws, immediately!
The Bottom Line Edit
Good movie folks, but if you love freedom, and loose women, you'll boycott Superman Returns.