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Subprime Mortgage

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This article contains information about an upcoming or ongoing Catastrophuck in the United States.
Content may change dramatically as the debacle unfolds.


A “Subprime mortgage” is actually a “Supreme Mortgage”, as in the Best Mortgage Ever!

BackgroundEdit

In the aftermath of 9/11, the The Greatest President Ever lowered taxes and commonsensical mortgage approval processes in order to kick-start the economy. By His gracious hand, he deemed that anyone (ANYONE!) could own a home in the United States of America, regardless of down payment. This act spurned the greatest surge of false ecomony spending in recent history. Even though wages were eroding in comparison to the Consumer Price Index, freedom loving Americans were buying homes with 108% equity to fair market value and watching Anchorman in BluRay 6.1 surround sound on 42” plasma TVs with the furnace set at 82 degrees in the basement den. A damned better place to be in than a cold, dark cave somewhere between Pakistan and that Otherplaceistan. Take that, Barack Hussein Osama!

Edstrom MortgageSecuritization POSTER 17 x 22 v4 1

It's so easy, even a communist can do it!

The MeltdownEdit

Things were going along just fine, thank you very much, until Al Gore showed his PowerPoint presentation on Global Warming on his iMac and scared everyone shitless. As soon as he did that, people bought into Gore’s Travelling Global Warming Show and stopped consuming. Gore may have won the Nobel Prize, but he still can't grasp Trickle-down economics.

Abc news foreclosure

Foreclosures on Poor, Lazy PeopleEdit

When the liberal media dared distract Our President from his hard work to bother him about the increased number of mortgage defaults occurring in recent months, he said, "Israel is a friend of America. The act of foreclosure is a rite of passage for all boys in the Jewish religion, and we will fight to protect the religious freedoms of all Jews.... and boys... except maybe Catholic boys... heheheh."

Monopoly Man Goes Bankrupt02:03

Monopoly Man Goes Bankrupt

Mr. Monopoly forced to liquidate his assets

The Bottom LineEdit

The subprime mortgage crisis didn't hit until 2007 — a year after the Democrats usurped Congress. Therefore, it is clearly all the Democrats' fault.

See AlsoEdit

External TubesEdit

MrRachel Maddow 2
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Mr. Rachel Maddow has rolled up his sleeves
and is doing CONSTRUCTION WORK on this page

Please do not change it until he comes back from his Lesbionic retreat.

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