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A “Subprime mortgage” is actually a “Supreme Mortgage”, as in the Best Mortgage Ever!
In the aftermath of 9/11, the The Greatest President Ever lowered taxes and commonsensical mortgage approval processes in order to kick-start the economy. By His gracious hand, he deemed that anyone (ANYONE!) could own a home in the United States of America, regardless of down payment. This act spurned the greatest surge of false ecomony spending in recent history. Even though wages were eroding in comparison to the Consumer Price Index, freedom loving Americans were buying homes with 108% equity to fair market value and watching Anchorman in BluRay 6.1 surround sound on 42” plasma TVs with the furnace set at 82 degrees in the basement den. A damned better place to be in than a cold, dark cave somewhere between Pakistan and that Otherplaceistan. Take that, Barack Hussein Osama!
Things were going along just fine, thank you very much, until Al Gore showed his PowerPoint presentation on Global Warming on his iMac and scared everyone shitless. As soon as he did that, people bought into Gore’s Travelling Global Warming Show and stopped consuming. Gore may have won the Nobel Prize, but he still can't grasp Trickle-down economics.
Foreclosures on Poor, Lazy PeopleEdit
When the liberal media dared distract Our President from his hard work to bother him about the increased number of mortgage defaults occurring in recent months, he said, "Israel is a friend of America. The act of foreclosure is a rite of passage for all boys in the Jewish religion, and we will fight to protect the religious freedoms of all Jews.... and boys... except maybe Catholic boys... heheheh."
|Mr. Monopoly forced to liquidate his assets|
The Bottom LineEdit
- The evils of Short Sale and how it hurts
- She-devil anoints commie hippie as Financial Commissar
- Welfare Queen Sues Bank: Bank to Counter Sue
- Capitalism triumphs again
- Activist Hippie Judges destroying America's Economy
- The Financial Crisis was an unforeseeable event!
- How charities destroyed America's economies
- Welfare Queens abusing the legal system to get free money and free housing!
- Pinko-commie lies about fraud. There was no fraud.