Nice One... NOTEdit
See Stephen Colbert for the One True Stephen.
It has been confirmed by a number of sources that there is a
Steven Colbert. He is the evil twin of American Hero Stephen Colbert and is out to destroy America.
How to spot evil Colbert
Now, no one has ever seen this alleged
Colbert twin, but we can only assume that he looks just like our glorious Stephen, but with one simple difference. An evil mustache! This evil Colbert could be deadly because unlike our beloved hero, Steven takes interest in the following un-American activities;
- Flag Burning
- Voting Democratic
- Watching 60 Minutes
- Eating Cherry Garcia
- Putting bumper stickers on his car that say I BRAKE FOR BEARS
- Voting against the real Stephen Colbert as a member of the Soviet Carolina Demoncratic executive council on the dark day of November 1st, 2007.
How to defeat
If for some unfortunate reason you would come across this vile creature, we here at Wikiality suggest that one of the following actions be taken.
- Say his name and then hide, so to cause the evil Colbert's head to explode.
- Do nothing, our hero Stephen will take care of him soon enough
- Call him a mean name. Since he is the exact opposite of Stephen, he will start crying and probably move to California
PUBLIC SERVICE (to Stephen) ANNOUNCEMENTEdit
Spanish American Inquisition is currently seeking and destroying all references to "Steven Colbert" on this website. If you wish to avoid torture, please go back to the page that sent you here and edit it to say "Stephen".
If you came to this page because you did a search for "Steven Colbert", please torture yourself until you confess.
Although, the best course of action to take would be to follow the political traditions of Linoleum-Tradionalism and perform the following:
- Place your left hand on your right hip.
- Lift the thumb of your right hand to point magnetic north while humming the alphabet backwards.
- Arrange both feet in alignment according to Feng Shui posture stand #7.
- Speak the word "Oops" slowly and then loudly and slow and fast until the feeling has passed.
- Schedule a bath to wash off the lingering nastiness.
Axis Of Evil Edit
Steven Colbert is a member of the Axis of Evil, along with Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris. To help fight the axis of evil, see The War on Norrisism.