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On January 18, 2007, Stephen Colbert appeared in Papa Bear Bill O'Reilly's No Spin Zone on the Fox News Channel program The O'Reilly Factor as part of the pundit exchange program.

Stephen told O'Reilly that, having spent so much time in a world of spin, he actually felt vertigo once he entered The No Spin Zone.

O'Reilly gave his protégé Stephen no quarter, immediately cornering him with a question concerning the origin of his last name. Stephen was forced to admit that his last name is French, but only to try to get cultural and media elites on his side. Stephen was able to blunt some of O'Reilly's criticism with his Irish heritage and Irish middle name 'Tyrone.'

Two titans meet, and America wins.

O'Reilly continued to press his attack, citing Stephen's 3rd grade teacher Miss Crabtree, who knew Stephen as Little Steve Colbert, with Colbert pronounced with a hard T, like Bert from Sesame Street.

Again Stephen admitted that the Frenchifying of his last name is merely designed to curry the favor of the Manhattan media elite.

O'Reilly ended up deciding that Stephen can be an Irish guy if he wants to be.

Imitation vs. EmulationEdit

O'Reilly wondered whether Stephen's imitation of him meant he was owed an enormous royalty check, but Stephen described the difference between imitation and emulation thusly:

"If you imitate someone you owe them a royalty check. If you emulate them you don't. There's a big difference. Check your lawyer."

O'Reilly refused to reveal what fuels him, Jesus Christ or Pat Robertson's Protein Shake, but did say that he is motivated by his desire to keep supplying Stephen with material.

The ReportEdit

O'Reilly asked Stephen to summarize The Colbert Report:

  • Stephen catches the world in the headlights of his justice
  • The show is unscripted and improvised
  • Stephen strives to bring Bill's message of love and peace to a younger audience not served by The O'Reilly Factor - people in their 50's and 60's

Other RevelationsEdit

StephAn Colbert on Factor

The Frenchified spelling of "Stephen" with an "a"

  • You have to be high to watch John Stewart and The Daily Show, Jon usually is.
  • Stewart is pinker than an Indian River Grapefruit
  • Stewart and Colbert no longer talk
  • Stephen hasn't seen his kids in 18 months
  • Stephen is losing bone calcium due to the stress of The Report
  • Left wing critics love Stephen for his Frenchness (see photo, right), but Stephen ignores them
  • Owls are a waste of time, just like Jon Stewart
  • Stephen hates people who criticize what Bill says, but never give him credit for saying it so loudly or so long.
  • Stephen has a restraining order on Jon because "he is a sexual predator."

The Last WordEdit

O'Reilly gave Stephen The Last Word, and Stephen thanked Bill for not bringing up the thing that they had preagreed Bill would not bring up.

External LinksEdit

Watch Stephen's appearance and the post-show analysis by Bernard Goldberg and Jane Hall.

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