Stephen Colbert's Formula 401(k)
is available for purchase
from and for the benefit of Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.


For Ladies Only.


Left: The type of child you will have using Formula 401(k).
Right: The type of child you will have with your husband.

Ladies, are you feeling that biological clock ticking? Is Fertility Treatment just not working for you? Can't imagine adopting a brown-skinned child like Angelina Jolie? If you need a child right away, what you need is Stephen Colbert's Formula 401(k).

Stephen's Baby Boomers have been specially formulated for maximum potency[1] and are GUARANTEED to fertilize even the most barren of wombs. And, we all know that a child created with the essence of Stephen Colbert is destined for wealth, fame and power. Forget traditional retirement plans and imagine living your Golden Years in posh bliss, secure knowing that Stephen's progeny has you completely taken care of.

So, invest in your future today with Stephen Colbert's Formula 401(k)!

Formula 401(k) was officially announced on the April 9, 2007 edition of The Colbert Report.


  1. Collected while Stephen was contemplating the Baby Jesus at an anti-abortion rally while shooting a gun and eating a pint of Americone Dream

See AlsoEdit

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.