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As outlined on the July 12, 2006 broadcast of The Colbert Report, Stephen's Plan to Save Traditional Marriage goes beyond merely outlawing gay marriage as some state legislatures have tried to do.
- Ban gay marriage in 49 states, but legalize it in Taxachusetts
- Gays will flock to Taxachusettes like there's a fire sale on assless chaps
- The Gays will settle there, as if in a Gay Israel
- We let The Gays have their Gaysrael, where we can keep our eye on them