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Stephen's Bedtime Ritual

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Stephen's Bedtime Ritual
is a ritual Our Glorious Stephen
recommends everyone perform at least daily.


Stephen's Bedtime Ritual consists of an intricate series of events, designed to prepare Stephen for a refreshing night of sleep and lucid dreams of Soledad O'Brien, Ronald Reagan and a bear-free America.

Elements Of The RitualEdit

Side EffectsEdit

  • May not actually be effective for inducing sleep


Other Ritual ConcoctionsEdit

On May 9, 2007, Stephen revealed his secret recipe for another sleep aid. Take a half a cup of milk, mix in a half a teaspoon of cinnamon, a tablespoon of vanilla powder and a pinch of nutmeg. Put in a microwave for 30 seconds on high, then drink it. Follow with four fingers of Robitussin. What you do with the other 6 fingers is up to you.

2008 UpdateEdit

Dr. Colbert added some very important elements to a good night's sleepEpisode #431:

  • Don't forget to make sure you turn the stove off...
  • make sure the refrigerator door is closed?
  • and the sink is all the way off
  • and the front door is double-locked
  • and the windows are shut
  • And the iron isn't pluged in
  • and the dog's inside!
  • Did you check back door?
  • What about the food on the counter? Did you put that away?
  • Did you log out of the computer?
  • and make sure there is no one hiding in the basement
  • And make sure you wash your face
  • and each of your hands
    • 1,2,3,4,5 times!
  • Did I say check the sink?
    • I forget, aww shoot, you better start over...

See AlsoEdit

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