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State of the Union Address

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State of the Union Address
is part of the United States Federal Government.
Don't ask; asking only helps the terrorists.


The Founding Fathers put in the Constitution that:

"...from time to time...the President...make[s] speeches...[1]"

Based on the Parliamentary "Q & A" of the Prime Minister, the American State of the Union differs in that it is American and does not involve any of the snotty British traditions like taking a break for tea and crumpetts[2]

The American TraditionEdit

The State of the Union Address is a spectacle of American Pomp and Democracy.

Both Houses of Congress congregate in the Capitol Building[3].

The Majority Party wear their "Sunday Best"; the Minority Party is only allowed to wear barrels[4].

The Speaker of the House and the President of the Senate[5] sit at the highest point behind the altar of the Capitol Building facing the congregation.

The Majority Party select their biggest Queen, who in a flurry of laser lights and feathered boas, announce the arrival of the President.

The Minority Whip of the House and the Minority Leader of the Senate and their pages carry the President in on a divan as the congregation stand and applaud.

The congregation must remain standing and applauding until the President takes his place at the pulpit.

The SpeechEdit

Once behind the pulpit, the cages holding the go-go dancers are lowered and the President begins.

FootnotesEdit

  1. Article 2, Section 2 of the Constitution of the United States of America
  2. Or asking questions
  3. Ironically, it is located outside the United States in Washington D.C.
  4. This tradition has been suspended only in the rare occasion when God's Party is in the Minority
  5. The Vice President is not only the President of the Unites States, but the President of the Senate as well.

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