Starcraft is the greatest game of all time. Anyone who says otherwise is a Terrorist. And anyone who's a Terrorist hates America. And anyone who hates America hates The Baby Jesus. And if you hate The Baby Jesus, you're a terrible person and you should burn in hell for all eternity. Amen.
Races in StarcaftEdit
There are 3 races in Starcraft. They are:
The Terran. They are a bunch of Republican rednecks appointed by George Bush and God to bend the universe under their rule. We must all rally together and support these rednecks, as they support The Greatest Administration Ever and make the Baby Jesus happy.
The Protoss. They are a bunch of energy-blade-wielding Jewish conservators. They also use freaky magic, which makes them the devil's minions. They make the Baby Jesus cry, and thus everyone who's ever played a game (and won) as the Protoss will go to Hell.
The Zerg are actually not one race, but a group of different species brought together by a sinister intelligence to create the perfect army. They are hyper-evolved creatures, selectively bred to create perfect killing machines from harmless herbivores in a matter of months. Their ultimate goal is to wipe out all sentient life in the universe, or else convert it into more Zerg.
Hey, wait a second! That's not truthy!
The Zerg. They are godly extra-terrestrial rapists who eat your children.
Storyline in a nutshell...Edit
The Terrans were liberals mutated and rebuilt into God fearing Republicans and shot into space. Unfortunately, their computer had Windows Vista and crashed. So they went way off course and crashed into Out of this Dimension (From Star Fox). Soon, the Protoss come along with a magnifying glasses to burn Terrans like ants. A few Protoss felt bad and rebelled. Some Terrans also rebelled. They got together for Woodstock '56, 2256. Then the Zerg got in cahoots with bears and ruined everything. A bunch of stuff happened, and there was this huge explosion and the Zerg's leader the Overmind (AKA Hillary Clinton) died thus resulting in the Protoss Homeworld burning like a match.