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Soylent Green

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Quote open clear3 'SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!' Quote close clear2
~Charlton Heston


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From the latin "Soylente Greene" or Green that is Soylent, Soylent Green is an alternative to disease-ridden natural food products, such as spinach. Soylent Green can best be described as "delicious". Stephen Colbert enjoys snacking on it during his news program, The Colbert Report. The Prescott Group has invested heavily in Soylent Green and the Pierce Bush Fountain of Knowledge Foundation gives grants to Soylent Green contractors.


Soylent Green was born in the late 1700's when several American scientists were attempting to develop a truthiness serum for use on dirty Frenchmen who were trying to infiltrate America. In a freak accident, several kittens were mixed into an early batch of Soylent Green. This angered the scientists to such a degree that they resorted to using pure unadulterated uranium to enhance the flavor, context and truth of Soylent Green, making it perfect, not unlike Milla Jovovich. Kittens were safe once more, and Soylent Green was soon approved for human consumption and introduced to grocery store shelves all over the world. Because of its inherent "deliciousness," its popularity quickly grew. The Green flavor was originally taken from pulling pea pods apart, rubbing them all over the Soylent, and then discarding both halves of the pod. This process was the inspiration for Soylent Green's original advertising slogan, "Soylent Green is pea-pull!"


Soylent Green has been certified by Obamatons at the FDA for use at FEMA Concentration Camps. It will also be offered in a new flavor, Soylent Red.

The new red flavor will be made entirely from those rounded up from Red States by boiling them in a pot with Communist flags.

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