South Carolina

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South Carolina
is a Truthiness Crusader!
U R Here
South Carolina
is a Recognized State of the United States of America.
All the geography American schoolkids Need To Know.

See Also:

South Carolina
Capital: Charleston (the only perfect spot in South Carolina)
State Flower: Peach
Official Language: Spainglish
State Bird: Eagle
State Motto: "Second In Flight"
Nickname: The Real Peach State
Governor: Strom Thurmond
State Anthem: God Bless South Carolina
Population: 18,000 acres of peaches
Standard MPH: Slow enough to make I-95 back up so poor South Carolinan children can skip school to run along side the interstate to sell peaches.
Principal imports: Peach seeds (but not from Georgia)
Principal exports: Peaches
Principal industries: Peach Stands
Fun Fact # 1: South Carolina is where George Washington discovered the first peach.
Fun Fact # 2: Black people are not allowed within the borders of South Carolina. (You can bribe the SC cops with shiny objects. See: Raccoons)

South Carolina (North Carolina's South Carolina) is home of the peach and Strom Thurmond. South Carolina is not as good as North Carolina, but FAR superior to Georgia!

Carolina: The Bipolar State Edit

Despite her magnificent natural beauty, Carolina has mental issues. Once swooned by surrounding states, eventually winning the heart of Georgia, who offered Carolina some of its delicious ripe peaches, Southern Carolina turned on Georgia like a ferocious, rabid pitbull. She began producing peaches so that Georgia would be jealous. Georgia ignored her. Northern Carolina then looked to Virginia for beach beautification assistance. Virginia was all too happy to help, unaware the Carolina would bitchslap it like a pimp looking for money. Virginia hauled ass. Carolina became so enraged that her northern half separated from her southern half, leaving North and South Carolina.

Georgia still offers inland assistance to the myriad coastal South Carolinan inhabitants whenever a hurricane smacks that ass. Georgia believes that hurricanes are God's way of showing tough love to South Carolina.

Beautiful and Exotic South Carolina Landmarks Edit


America's Two Greatest Men

The Home of The Stephen Colbert with Stephen Colbert Portrait, Sticky Fingers Barbeque.

The neverending, yawn inspiring drive on family trips from Coastal Georgia to the North. People from South Carolina are CRAZY! They love explosions. Every exit through FireWorks Alley (I-95 through South Carolina) sports at least two "CRAZY" fireworks dealers. Not only are they peddling explosive paraphenalia, but they are doing it while selling gasoline!

More important than some peach-shaped water tower is the South Of The Border Sombrero Tower, the most important part of the South Carolina culture. This tower is a proud symbol of the migrant Mexicans hired to pick those 18,000 acres of South Carolina peaches.

South Carolina Department of Motor Vehicles: Please Curb Your Mules On Your Own 40 Acres Edit

South Carolina Changes License Tag to Represent the Diversity of the State

The new tag represents the Peach Industry of South Carolina in all its "superiority" of Georgia's. Georgia can call themselves the peach state all they want, they can never beat South Carolina!

Famous South CaroliniansEdit

South Carolina Fun Facts, Via South Carolina's Favorite Son, Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFAEdit

  • State Amphibian
Dr. Colbert's dog Cookie, "She swims, and she goes on land"[1]
  • State Flower
"confederate jasmine"[2]
  • State Motto
"Dum spiro spero" (While I breathe, I hope)[3]

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