Sound Science

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Sound Science
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Sound Science is a sciencyific method of truth-finding which is informed by the values of Freedom and Capitalism and the American Way. It is different from science, also known as Junk Science, which is a pinko commie construct.

Liberals claim that the concept of "Sound Science" was manufactured by "industry hacks" such as Steven Milloy.[1] This is simply not true: Sound Science is a law immanent in nature, and Milloy only discovered it. After discovering Sound Science, Milloy founded The Advancement for Sound Science Coalition[2] ("The ASS Coalition") to spread the word on this ground-breaking methodology.

The ProcessEdit

Assemble an Appropriate Research TeamEdit

In the process of Sound Science, one starts by assembling a research team. This can be hard — not only do you need Americans on the team, you also need Patriotic Americans. Because otherwise you may end up having a team wholly comprised of pinko commie terrorist enablers, and we won't want that, will we?

In fact, it will be best if the entire research team consists exclusively of Patriotic Americans, in order that the research may be seraphically free from even the slightest taint of Un-Patriotism and Un-Freedom.

Formulate the HypothesisEdit

Once the research team is gathered, the Patriotic Americans will formulate a hypothesis which is to be tested. The hypothesis must be formulated in a way which is consistent with the ideals of Freedom.

Do Experiments and Clean Up ResultsEdit

The next step is to gather the raw data, perform experiments, and clean up the experimental results.

If necessary, the results should be corrected to remove any hints of liberal bias (since, for example, the raw data may come from places with a high concentration of pinko-Islamo-terrorism, thereby tainting the results). If the results are not consistent with Freedom, then the researchers must apply the "I don't believe this, ergo this is not true!" method and adjust the results accordingly.

The resulting results can then be written up as a research paper.

Submit Findings for Peer ReviewEdit

After the paper is written, it should be submitted for Peer Review. The reviewers, of course, will be fully-qualified experts in the field of Sound Science — luminaries such as Michelle Malkin, Rush Limbaugh, and Steven Milloy. As reviewers, they will give feedback by pointing out any remaining traces of Un-Freedom and Un-Capitalism in your paper which you should remove.

And Last, Sit Back and WatchEdit

So, your paper passes Peer Review... now what? Nothing, that is what. The Invisible Hand of the Free Market — actually the hands of the Peer Reviewers — will post your paper on the Internets Tubes for mass dissemination and regurgitation. With this, the process of Sound Science is complete!


Thus, contrary to what critics say, Sound Science is not the totally unprincipled mess that they claim it is. The truth is that Sound Science is a long, arduous, painstaking, and rigorous process. The selection of Patriotic Americans for the research team, the removal of liberal bias from the data, and the submission of the fruits of research to Peer Review — each of these steps is fraught with great difficulty, and must be executed with extreme care.


  1. George Monbiot. 2006. The Denial Industry. The Guardian.
  2. The Advancement of Sound Science Coalition. SourceWatch.

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