"Snake Marriage"
has been approved for use in the "Leave No Child's Behind Abstinent Only"
Abstinence-Training Curriculum.
Using this tube of the internets will preserve your virginality.

According to Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A., "Snake Marriage," or the marriage of a human person and a snake, is not the end result of the slippery slope of gay marriage. In factiness, Dr. Colbert sees "people marrying snakes as a step up the slope from gay marriage." This is only true, however, if people are not marrying gay snakes: "we must marry limbless reptiles of the opposite sex. Otherwise, it's just not natural."

Dr. Colbert's thoughts on Snake Marriage came in response to a Fox News correspondent's insightful commentary about an unconfirmed report of a woman in India who married a snake. The Good Doctor agreed with the Fox correspondent that

Guotes open clear3
if a woman in India marries a snake, gay people in America should have to justify it.
Guotes close clear3
~Stephen Colbert
The Colbert Report

As a public service for his viewers, Dr. Colbert (an unlicensed herpetologist and self-declared "snake man") went on to explain how to tell the difference between male and female snakes, just in case.

See AlsoEdit

LeathermanShoppingNoBkg This article might have to do with something gayish. Please give it a makeover
Not that there's anything wrong with it the way it is,
but it is a little "light in the loafers" (if you know what I mean...)

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