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Bear baiting  | Bear is driving  | Bearism  | Great Bear Incident  | The Left Wing Madness

Only you can prevent bears from starting forest fires.

Smokey The Bear is not a proper mascot or icon for fire prevention.

Oh sure, the Forest Service claims to have deprogrammed him from his rampaging, murderous instincts, but in reality, this 'harmless' jeans-wearing ursine has been burying the mutilated carcasses of his victims with the shovel he is so often pictured with. He is not to be trusted. It is a matter of speculation how many people he had to maul in order to get 'his' hat, as reported on the Report of Earth Attacks, GA Drought (@ 2:17) .

Smokey FactoidsEdit


Here the soulless beast instructs other forest creatures in his wicked arts of mayhem.

  • His fur is highly flammable
  • Uses his razor sharp claws to scratch safety matches
  • 'Smokey' loves the reefer
  • He is, in fact, a closet arsonist.
  • He's the one who starts the fires.
  • He's Canadian!
  • Is actually one of a set of sextuplets. He and his hateful, destructive siblings are responsible for all wildfires across America...

Recent ActivityEdit

Stephen's Suggested ReplacementEdit


Smokey The Dolphin. ©®™ 2006, Stephen Colbert Enterprises INC, SA, LLC

An icon of fire prevention should love humans and be moist, so Stephen has created Smokey The Dolphin (not to be confused with Porpy).

Arsonist the BearEdit

This is the only know photo of a bear that started a mega blaze in California.


See AlsoEdit

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