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Slutty Flight Attendant
Slutty Flight Attendants (acronynym:SFA) (formerly known as Stewardesses) are Uberhot women who bring cold drinks, soft pillows, warm blankets, delectable packets of peanuts and joy to airline passengers. They are Real American Goddesses, adored by all and blessed by The Baby Jesus.
Who Can Become An SFA?Edit
- Reasonably hot chicks that have a desire to join The Mile High Club.
What Education Do SFAs Need?Edit
- Pole Dancing degree from The Learning Annex or other accredited institution.
- The Elizabeth Berekely academy of pole-dancing offers a 20% discount the first Wednesday of each month for airline employees. Seats and poles are limited -- apply now.
- Able to recite the saftey card by heart.
- Do the "Point to all the exits hokey-pokey."
- Say "Please return your tables and seats to their upright positions." In at least five languages.
What Do SFAs Do?Edit
- Hike their skirts.
- Touch themselves and each other.
- Serve coffee, tea and their goodies.
- Usher new members into The Mile High Club.
- Help existing members reach higher levels.
- Look uberhot.
- Bend over... Alot.
- Smell like ice cream.
What Special Equipment Do SFAs Need?Edit
- Great flotation devices
- Skirts too short to sit.
- Heels too high to walk.
- One of those carts full of Vodka and peanuts and yummy stuff.
- The key to my hotel room.
Where Do SFAs Work?Edit
- SFAs do not work, that's what nasty fat flight attendants do.
How Much Money Do SFAs Make?Edit
- Gauged by the proliferation of gay men and butch lesbians flying the not so friendly skies, they aren't making enough.
Fun SFA FactsEdit
- Lufthansa Airlines has the hottest SFAs, because they are all Scandinavian.
- Stephen Colbert freely donates his Fjørmula 4Ø1 to them at every opportunity.
SFA Video FeedEdit
|Slutty Flight Attendant trainig video,|
Braniff Airlines Circa 1970