~ an American Patriot before he died of sleep deprivation
Sleep (lazy philosophy)
- Something that is unamerican, unpatriotic, liberal and hurts our troops by making them vulnerable. Sleep makes you waste valuable time that could used to be doing something productive and patriotic.
- Sleep corrupts the minds of Americans with moving idea pictures that makes them unproductive when they should be working to make our
rich mastersfree market more wealthy.
- The act of sleep encourages people to be lazy to attain the zenith of nothingness in everyday life.
Stephen Colbert's Thoughts on SleepEdit
- Stephen Colbert believes sleep is boring because it consists of eight hours of laying around doing nothing.Episode #323
- When Stephen sleeps, he gets frequent dreams of eating a banana.
- Stephen only sleeps so he can wake up for Fox & Friends.
- Stephen Colbert believes sleep is great for driving (not recommended) to make his trip to the studio short.
Dangers of Sleep Edit
- The Chinese will be taking advantage of us sleeping to invade our fine country. Only by never sleeping again, will we fend off the Yellow Menace.
- You could accidentally miss the greatest show ever. The proper way to avoid this is to set an alarm.
How to Sleep SoundlyEdit
This sleep remedy is endorsed by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.:
- Mix the following ingredients:
- 1/2 cup milk
- 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
- 1 tbs. vanilla powder
- 1 pinch nutmeg
- Microwave for 30 seconds on 'high'
- Drink, followed by 4 fingers of Robitussin
~ Dr. Colbert