is hippie-related, and not groovy to The Baby Jesus.

Wake Up America, Adelaide seen here

Flag quote open clear2
Sleep is for the Weak
Flag quote close clear2
~ an American Patriot before he died of sleep deprivation

Sleep (lazy philosophy)

  1. Something that is unamerican, unpatriotic, liberal and hurts our troops by making them vulnerable. Sleep makes you waste valuable time that could used to be doing something productive and patriotic.
  2. Sleep corrupts the minds of Americans with moving idea pictures that makes them unproductive when they should be working to make our rich masters free market more wealthy.
  3. The act of sleep encourages people to be lazy to attain the zenith of nothingness in everyday life.

Stephen Colbert's Thoughts on SleepEdit

  • Stephen Colbert believes sleep is boring because it consists of eight hours of laying around doing nothing.Episode #323
  • When Stephen sleeps, he gets frequent dreams of eating a banana.
  • Stephen only sleeps so he can wake up for Fox & Friends.
  • Stephen Colbert believes sleep is great for driving (not recommended) to make his trip to the studio short.

Dangers of Sleep Edit

  • The Chinese will be taking advantage of us sleeping to invade our fine country. Only by never sleeping again, will we fend off the Yellow Menace.
  • You could accidentally miss the greatest show ever. The proper way to avoid this is to set an alarm.

How to Sleep SoundlyEdit

This sleep remedy is endorsed by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.:

  • Mix the following ingredients:
    • 1/2 cup milk
    • 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
    • 1 tbs. vanilla powder
    • 1 pinch nutmeg
  • Microwave for 30 seconds on 'high'
  • Drink, followed by 4 fingers of Robitussin
If you use this remedy:
Flag quote open clear2
You will go down like a sequoia
Flag quote close clear2
~ Dr. Colbert

is a part of's dictionary, "Watch What You Say". For the full dictionary, click here.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.