Sir Paul McCartney
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process
Sir Paul McCartney
belongs to a coven that makes satanic music
which are lullabies to the Baby Satan

Sir Paul McCartney
has bad teeth and a funny accent because he is British.
Al Franken
Sir Paul McCartney has earned

Paul is the pretty one

Paul McCartney is a Satanist musician from Hell.

He wrote many songs for a band called The Beatles which was very popular with long-haired hippie freaks in the 1960's which means the music that Paul McCartney wrote is so old that it is completely irrelevant. You might as well be listening to ragtime and dancing the Charleston. The Beatles were so long ago that at the height of their popularity, a dollar could actually buy you something.

Mr. McCartney was a friend of John Lennon and for that damning reason alone, he should be expelled from America and go back where he came from. (Norway?)

There is some speculation as to whether Paul is actually alive or not.

Paul had a close friendship with Michael Jackson. They sung together for the track "The Girl Is Mine", featured on Jackson's album Thriller. The track was, needless to say, about as entertaining as half a brick. Another track, entitled "Say Say Say", which this time had a video, featured the pair running around dressed as clowns, and Michael hitting on his own sister. What a classic.

January 28, 2009 NailingEdit


  • Joined a band called the Quarrymen
    • Which became the Beatles
  • Paul was the cute one
  • John was the smart one
  • George was the senstitive one
  • Ringo was the luckiest man in the world
  • Wings' greatest hit: "Stop Requesting Strawberry Fields, That Was John's"
  • Paul has never seen The Colbert Report
  • Stephen had never heard his music
  • Paul's favorite Beatle was Ringo
  • George Martin wasn't a Beatle
  • There is a small chance that Stephen was the Fifth Beatle
  • New album Electric Arguments contains 13 songs
    • Took too long to write each song (one day)
  • Could belt out a rock scream
  • He calls himself
    • Witty, attractive, musical
  • Dali Lama might eat Paul McCartney
    • In an emergency, he might
  • The tenderest cut of the McCartney
  • Stephen and "Ebony & Ivory" with him
  • Stephen ended the interview with a hearty "Obla-dee Obla-done"
  • Sir Paul made Stephen a knight

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