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was featured by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. on "The Wørd" segment of "The Colbert Report"
For all wørds featured, click here, for's dictionary, click here.

W A R N I N G ! ! !
is not intended for drunken frat boys


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Sex is something not very nice that happens between married people.
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~ Stephen Colbert's Father

Don't have it.

It is very painful and Jesus would be watching the whole time.

It's the most disgusting thing two people can do to one another. Whenever people have sex, Stephen cries. Never have sex. Never. If you have sex even once it could be deadly. Whenever you have sex the terrorists win. If you even think about sex the terrorists win. Sex is only alright in certain circumstances (see below) and even then it is still possible God will strike you down if you enjoy it too much.

If you see two or more people having sex, they are hurting each other, unless it is wheelbarrow style. According with Republicans, sex happens when a man's penis enters a female vagina, then the man pulls it out and then in, in and out, in and out. Until his penis falls off. then it grows back and starts again. it

The WørdEdit

Sex was The Wørd on the March 21, 2007 edition of "The Colbert Report".

GOP Approved Flavors of SexEdit

Democrat Approved Flavors Of SexEdit

Good Places to Have SexEdit

Bad Places to Have SexEdit

Sex In CollegeEdit

College is the time and place to experiment, having sex with such partners as tree stumps and parking metersEpisode #395 Also you get a free pass at having used condoms on your coffee table when friends come to visit. Make sure you always stretch in college before sex and remember your in your prime and if you blow don't inhale too fast.


As the sex workers tell it, the consensus is that Republicans demand more outrageous acts. Mistress Natasha estimates that her clients are half Democrat, half Republican, but says, “Republicans are way freakier, probably because they’re way more repressed. They can’t be kinky with their wives.” She thinks it’s the submissive tendencies that create the conservative political identity, not the other way around: “In their everyday professional life, they are so scared that anybody would ever think they were submissive that they overcompensate and come across as this demanding, hard person. I believe that well before they knew whether they were going to be a Democrat or a Republican, they knew they wanted to be tied up and beaten.”

See AlsoEdit

Do Not Also SeeEdit

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