Sean Penn
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process
Al Franken
Sean Penn has earned
Sean Penn
gives aid and comfort to America's enemies. As A True American™,
it is your duty to report Sean Penn to the authorities.

Sean Penn, shown here humping a bagel in his most acclaimed role, before he became a traitor.

Sean "Shanghai" Penn is a failed actor (as long as Fox doesn't recognize the Oscars) and wannabe traitor to the American people (he even fails at that). To date, his hair is his most acclaimed film.

On the April 19, 2007 edition of The Colbert Report, he won the Metaphor Off! against Stephen Colbert by being a dirty, rotten cheater.

Balls, The Absence OfEdit

Sean penn bailing

Sean Penn in a sham photo op with Hurricane Katrina victims, taken in a pathetic attempt to make FEMA look bad.

Sean Penn hates America and wants to kill you. If you look at his face, you will see that it closely resembles a bear.

Sean Penn is a piece of crap, and therefore loved by Hugo Chavez, the American-Hating-DICKtator of Venezuela.

Insulting the Greatest President EverEdit

The following is the stupidest thing I have ever read.

The Hollywood liberal and Blame America Firster posted his bile on, and then read it out loud to a bunch of homeless people.

He has a fetish for President Bush's soiled and blood-soaked underwear.

Penn is responsible for sneaking the WMDs out of Iraq in an attempt to embarrass President Bush. He even admitted this while accepting some obscure award that is nowhere near as prestigious as Bill O'Reilly's Pulitzer Polk Award transitively won daytime Emmy.

Stephen Colbert recently challenged him to a Metaphor Off! Stephen noted Penn had accepted his challenge on the April 16, 2007 edition of The Colbert Report. They faced off on April 19, 2007. Colbert had him on the ropes until he totally cheated, but Stephen graciously allowed him to win in the interest of national harmony.

Movie RolesEdit


Mr. and Mrs. Going-to-hell

  • Penn's first role was as a stoned, hippie slacker. Need we say more?
  • Mr. Penn was once married to Madonna; syphilis is one hell of a drug!
  • Penn also played a man on death row. As Mr. Penn is an avid Method actor, this means that he has been on Death Row, and therefore shouldn't be trusted.
  • Penn also played a gay, for which he won an Oscar. The next day, however, Papa Bear found out that Penn was merely accepting the award on behalf of gay marriage, which had met a violent death some months before after making an indecent proposition to California voters.

See AlsoEdit

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