Keep smiling and don't make any sudden movements.
By watching you, we're protecting you.
ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

Seal Team 6 does not exist, but if they did exist, they would be a kick ass team.


Startrek seal team vi

After the Borg failed to assimilate Seal Team VI, they just committed cyber suicide. They just couldn't live with the shame.

People that Seal Team 6 did not kill since they do not exist, but if they did exist they would claim responsability:

  • Alexander the Great. Tried to get Hoplite Team VI killed, he failed. Changed his name to Alexander the Loser postmortem.
  • Xerxes I of Persia. Jumped off from a cliff when Sparta Team VI was chasing him.
  • Julius Caesar. 33 stabs from the Arcani Legion VI.
  • Genghis Khan. Died of a heart attack when he heard Templar Team VI was ready to kill him.
  • King George. Driven mad after hearing Colonial Team Six was coming for him.
  • Adolf Hitler. Bullet to the head, he tried to poison himself when he heard Ally Team 6 was close by.
  • Saddam Hussein. Killed with the hang-man maneuver. He pissed his pants when he heard Seal Team Six was coming for him.
  • Osama bin Laden. Headshot and one to the chest (The Double Tap! Bonus Point!). Before he died, Osama called for Allah for protection, but Allah refused on ground that he was scared of Seal Team Six.
  • Allah. The reason he is still alive is that Seal Team Six let him live so he gets to watch all his mooslim followers die before his eyes.

Facts About Seal Team 6 If They did ExistEdit

Ezio Auditore da Firenze-Brotherhood

We are not saying this man is in Seal Team 6. But if he was, you would be dead by the end of this sen...

  • Seal Team 6 doesn’t drink OJ for breakfast - they drink Agent Orange.
  • Seal Team 6 is what happens when a moveable object meets an unstoppable force.
  • Night Vision Goggles are totally useless without Seal Team 6.
  • Seal Team 6 is actually 20.
  • Seal Team 6 is trained to bury their targets at sea.
  • Seal Team 6 would accept Allah if it were not for the religion.
  • Seal Team 6 does NOT know who you are either.
  • Seal Team 6 is to Seal teams what a stinger is to a hornet.
  • When the president runs out of all options he calls for "Seal Team 6"
  • President Jimmy Carter did NOT use Seal Team 6.
  • Seal Team 6 lands choppers for shit.
  • Super-human misery suffers from a "Seal Team 6 complex."
  • They are called "Seal Team 6" because 96% (9+6=15 & 1+5=6) of applicants drop out within 6 minutes of day one.
  • Mount Everest once tried - unsuccessfully - to climb Seal Team 6.
  • Seal Team 6 is never taught that they are maggots.
  • Awesome is so Seal Team 6 that's it's unbelievable.
  • Seal Team 6 believes that a dead target is always less work.
  • Wives of terrorists have nightmares/wet dreams about Seal Team 6.
  • Seal Team 6 must run while carrying a boat 2000 miles before breakfast.
  • Seal Team 6 doesn’t use toilet paper, they use terrorists wrapped in barbed wire.
  • Seal Team 6 issued a Fatwa on Allah.
  • It's useless for targets to flee from Seal Team 6 - they will simply die exhausted.
  • Seal Team 6 is to combat what Godzilla is to lizards.
  • Seal Team 6 blood is worth on average one million dollars per drop - dead or alive – in training costs.
  • Kryptonite and Uranium are both allergic to Seal Team 6.
  • God is the 7th member of Seal Team 6.
  • Seal Team 6 doesn’t need nukes because headshots are much more fun.
  • Predator Drones are jealous of Seal Team 6.
  • You are not truly fucked unless Seal Team 6 says so.
  • Secrecy itself doesn't know who's in Seal Team 6.
  • Seal Team 6 once granted an audience to Pope John Paul I.
  • Rambo flunked out of Seal Team 6 in his prime.
  • Seal Team 6 has never heard of Chuck Norris.
  • More men claim falsely to be former Seal Team 6 members than those who don't.
  • After making love your wife/husband apologizes for not being Seal Team 6.
  • Cancer is terrified of catching Seal Team 6.
  • There is absolutely no cure if you are infected by Seal Team 6.
  • Water can actually survive under Seal Team 6.
  • Seal Team 6 doesn’t fuck unless ordered to.
  • Whatever Seal Team 6 doesn’t kill only makes them stronger.
  • Porn actors have Seal Team 6 on their PCs.
  • Jack Bauer was rejected from Seal Team 6 for being a gay-pacifist.
  • Seal Team 6's snipers kill Somali pirates for fun, and they dont even need to leave America's shores to target them.
  • Seal Team 6 rescued Jessica Lynch way before they were asked to do so by the US.
  • Superman was lying all along, his real kryptonite is Seal Team 6.
  • Seal Team 6 are God's personal body guards.
  • Every night Satan checks under the bed to see if there are any Seal Team 6 hiding.
  • Seal Team 6's dog is not Cujo, is his son Cujo Jr., Cujo Sr. was retired last year.

External TubesEdit

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.