As you would expect, Stephen Colbert is a popular role model for the macho man-candy character present in every romance novel.

American style2
W A R N I N G ! ! !
Romance Novel
is for mature eagles only!
Careful, it is hot.

A romance novel is the lady's equivalent to a gentleman's erotic magazine. Romance novels are used to vent excess lust from female head tubes, and prevent women from going on a nagging spree.

The plot of all romance novels follow a very rigid and predictable pattern.

  1. Lead female character (henceforth referred to as LFC) arrives at new, scary place, filled with total bitches and very few men.
  2. LFC meets leader of bitches and is left demoralized.
  3. LFC meets total jerk guy who she hates but at the same time is drawn to sexually.
  4. LFC meets nice but not as sexy guy who wants to worship her.
  5. LFC spurns nice guy.
  6. LFC meets jerk again and has an argument that somehow results in them "getting it on".
  7. LFC learns queen of bitches is dating jerk, and feels the sweet sweet taste of revenge.

As you can see, romance novels are a major factor (along with liberals, bears, and Baby Satan) in the corruption of America. They teach our women that men are objects, they encourage promiscuity, and they promote abrupt and inexplicable

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