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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

Baby Jesus
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!


How the fate of the world is really decided.

Risk is a game about war, making it very American. Some advantages to actual war include no death and no pesky pot-smoking Cindy Sheehan-types trying to make you admit defeat for no reason.

It has the ability to make any person, worthy or not, feel like a great general at the roll of the dice. It is also the only game where soldiers from France might have a shot at winning a battle. However, the chances of such miracle still remain slim.

It also teaches about evolution as five men carrying guns combined makes one man on a horse with a sword.

Ten men, or two horsemen, or five men and one horsemen, maybe combined to create a cannon, in which any human characteristics are diminished, predicting our future evolution into machine like beings. Some people have already evolved into such species, Arnold Schwarzenegger being amongst them.

The pieces used in Risk have either mastered Jesus's ability to walk on water or fly, following black lines connecting islands to cross freely without transportation methods.

Risk's color coordinated continents provide continental bonuses to those who hold these color coordinated continents, but Asia incorrectly provides 7 instead of the -10 it should provide.

Also risk maybe a proof that Africa exists, portraying the continent in brown under the blue European continent as well as including playing pieces entirely coated black. Some risk cards also specifically include the name "Africa" in its text.

Which would imply that Africa might exist. Which it does not.

See: Roots, Africa

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