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Rick Perry
I am Rick Perry and and my lawyer swears I'm not a


Rick Perry
is Very Manly™.

Rick Perry is the Governor of Texas, a Real American Hero, and, thanks solely to the Colbert Bump, the next President of the United States.

Texas IndependenceEdit

Rick Perry believes that the government that governs least, governs best — and proved it every day of his tenure as Texas Governor by taking a record number of days off, putting his lieutenant governor in charge of day-today business, and letting the free market create mostly government jobs jobs. Plus, he knew that it would be wasteful to spend tax moneuy on fire ad safety workers when, as everyscientist on his payroll knows, all you need to put out wildfires is the power of prayer. As his pappy used to say, "It'll rain eventually."

Rick Perry: The New President of The Texan RepublicEdit

As President of Texas, Rick Perry has promised that he will become more powerful than Obama, raise an army and take over Washington, DC.

Ricky Perry received an excellent edjukashun proving that anyone can be President. And he will kill to become President of America, I am not kidding.

Rick Perry and The Free MarketEdit

Long ago Mr. Rick Perry was fighting the evil teachers who were too lazy and too liberal to trust. So he came up with a plan to set up a free market system to kill them all, but as always the liberal media made a big deal out of it. If Perry's plan had worked, all of us would be rich by now.


Like all politicians, Rick Perry has found his own Perrygirl, who's 10 times hotter than that treasonous skank Obama Girl. Do we even know if Obamagirl was actually born in America?

Rick Perry's Three Step Plan:Edit


Rick Perry has promised that he has big plans, great plans, to change America. First he will cut socialized medicine, second he will reform Medicare, and then... errr... mmm...

Anyway, you get the idea.


Rick Perry wont be President of Real America.

External TubesEdit

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