Richard the Lion-Hearted

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Richard the Lion-Hearted
has bad teeth and a funny accent because he is British.
Despite what you may have heard
Richard the Lion-Hearted
Is totally not gay!

Richard the Lion-Hearted was the only British King to use his GUTS instead of his brain to spread freedom and combat many infidels. To help his mission, he undertook a Lion heart transplant. His motto was "Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself — Unless he's Muslim."

He was a master of disguise, at any given time taking on the appearance of Sean Connery, Patrick Stewart, or a talking lion in order to confound his enemies.

He and the King of France were constant companions and camping buddies.

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