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Richard Nixon

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THIS PAGE IS ABOUT THE AMERICAN HERO RICHARD NIXON. FOR HIS EVIL TWIN BROTHER SEE THIS PAGE EVIL RICHARD NIXON

BWGannon
ArnoldSchwarzenegger2
Richard Nixon
is a Beautiful Republican
God Bless America
POSTUSSeal
WHFromSouthLawn
Richard Nixon
was the 37th President of the United States of America
Party: Republican   Term of Office: 1969-1974
Flag quote open clear2
Expletive deleted.
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~ Richard Nixon
Expresidents

Nixon (far left) seen here with other former U.S. Leaders at the Inauguration of the Richard Nixon Library.

Richard Millhouse Van Houten Nixon the Honest was the first Holy Roman Emperor of the United States, serving from 1969 to 1974. Nixon is famously known for single-handedly winning the Vietnam War and retiring as a Great American Hero at the top of mount doom.

Early LifeEdit

Richard Nixon was born poor, but God liked him anyway. He was raised as an evangelical Quaker, and throughout his life he would pray five times a day to the Quaker Oats Man.

In 1926, Nixon attended ITT Technical Institute on a full athletics scholarship (flag twirling). While there, he became known for being a master debater and for having extremely hairy palms. He also ran for student body president, but was defeated after it was revealed he bugged the dorm rooms of his opponents. Nixon learned his lesson and would never do that again.

Futurama-203-nixon

Richard Nixon's new look.

Fun FactsEdit

  • Being Nixonish is second only to being Lincolnish.
  • People dress like him on Halloween, but we aren't sure why.
  • He once wandered the streets of Washington, D.C., naked, armed only with a bottle of moonshine and a meat hammer, striking down godless hippies and bears alike
  • He earned everything he got, according to him.
  • He is definitely not a crook despite what the left wing conspiracy has said; if he said he's not a crook nixo-facto he's not a crook.
  • He is totally not racist, and totally not anti-semitic.
  • He has pouches on the sides of is inner cheeks (the ones on his face) that allow him to store favoured treats the likes of almonds, handkerchiefs and AK 47s. This is why he has large jowls.
  • Richard Nixon had an Evil Commie Hippie Twin Brother. When Nixon went to China his Evil Hippie Twin Brother fooled the rest of the Nation by pretending to be the Real Nixon. He started to mandate his evil tyranny by pushing some tree-hugging hippie policies like the National Environmental Policy Act, the Marine Mammal Protection Act, the Clean Air Act of 1970 and the Federal Water Pollution Control Act amendments of 1972, as well as establishing many commie government agencies. This Evil Nixon is responsible for the founding of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA)[82], and the Council on Environmental Quality... but he was not done yet, Evil Commie Nixon then tried to pass Universal Healthcare but by then the Real Nixon came back from China and stopped his Evil Twin. To this day no one knows what happened to Evil Nixon...
StromThurmond
Klansman
Despite what you may have heard
Richard Nixon
Is totally not racist!
Jesus-6182
Tombstonehero6
Richard Nixon
Was an Enemy of Satan and a Pinnacle of Freedom here on earth.
Sadly, Richard Nixon has moved to The Baby Jesus's Secret Island Home
in Heaven to continue the fight by his side. Be scared Satan!
RoarkeTattoo

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