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Rhinoceros

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Rhinoceros
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Rino

Rhinos and elephants don't get along very well.

Rhinoceroses are poser elephants with big horns and an even bigger ass. They are normally seen associating with bears. They are the bears African forces (Affirmative Action Laws) and are responsible for the Watergate Scandal and are the heads of the Koala/Rhino Organization, a faction working to start a Bear Uprising

HistoryEdit

Ursa, after leaving Noah's Ark , went to the Koalas for help in creating more bears. after training for years in the middle of the African savanna, she found an elephant and transformed it into the poser it is today.

Rhinos: The Cancer KillersEdit

The rhinoceros (commonly called "rhino", not to be confused with the Marvel Comics villian) is any of five surviving species of odd-toed ungulates in the family Rhinocerotidae. All five living species are native to Africa, the Middle East, and southern Asia. Most species of rhino are endangered- the sixth species of rhino, the unicorn, is extinct.

A powerful rhinoceros, though herbivorous, is arguably one of the deadliest creatures on earth to humans, rivaling bears and sharks. In India and Nepal, rhinos cause the greatest number of wildlife-related human deaths each year, surpassing those caused by tigers and leopards. While bears are born man eating killers out of their satanic heritage, the rhino has a more anti clone, Jesus friendly motivation.

While a rhino will charge in the presense of humans it is for one reason and one reason alone (aside from the whole "people invading its territory/young in danger" thing) and that reason is cancer. Rhinos are the born enemy of all types of cancer and will go at great lengths to save a creature they believe has cancer even if it means charging into a worker elephant in the middle of the Indian jungle carrying a Swiss tourist with a mild case of skin cancer on his lower right arm. Generally peaceful creatures the presense of cancer can easily send a rhino of any age or creed (yes, even the extinct unicorns) into a frenzy.

CancerEdit

It has been widely believed that the rhinoceros carries special knowledge about cancer in its mighty horn- this has been an easily dismissed part of folklore as any knowledge any creature has has been scientifically proven to come from its gut. Once a rhino does charge to the rescue of a being plagued by cancer there is a 70% chance that that being will be cured of the cancer. There's also a +/- 30% chance that that being will be dead as rhinos are not known for their dexterity or bedside manner. Even the gentle unicorn.


See AlsoEdit

External TubesEdit

Evil dolphin
Stephen hates utah
Rhinoceros is in Wikiality's Animal Perdition

This horrid beast will spend eternity wandering the vitriolous wastelands of Utah.

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