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Reverse Engineering

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Reverse Engineering is a phrase you use to tell your Grandmother that you can't come up with a good design on your own. The process of Reverse Engineering is one of the cornerstones of the global economy. In this day and age, anyone with access to the proper tools can reproduce anything, even if you're not an American.


The Process Edit

  1. Find something which is already patented that you could easily reproduce.
  2. Obtain a sample of that product, either through a Patent Office or by purchasing one for yourself.
  3. Observe how the product functions, make notes of your own of it's features.
  4. Create a design of your own which is different enough from the 1st design to pass muster, or not, who cares.
  5. Send that design to offshore production facilities where the labor is cheap and cruelly efficient.
  6. Quickly, while the product is still under development, feature it's prototype in a late night series of product demonstrations. Don't forget to hire an agreeable British guy to demonstrate "your" product to a live studio audience.
  7. Remember that Operators stand by cheapest in India!
  8. Offer a moneyback guarantee. This will give the consumer more confidence as well as allowing you to put "their" money into a short term interest bearing account or on the ponies during your "lunch break".
  9. Buy a car that is both Yellow and Italian. Don't forget to adorn it with vanity plates which read "(Your Product)_King".
  10. Take the money and move to Hollywood, host a party, odds are you'll get a "meeting" with Paris Hilton.
  11. Have a couple of beers, call your publicist 1st, then check in to rehab.
  12. Leave rehab
  13. Check back into rehab
  14. Come "Out" publicly
  15. Restart the process from the beginning


Success Stories Edit

The following is proof that the Reverse Engineering process can be successful.

  • IBM Computers
  • Compaq Computers
  • Microsoft Corporation
  • Japan
  • China
  • Christian Slater
  • PDiddy
  • Incubus
  • The Decemberists
  • The 1/2 Hour News Hour

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