Restoring Truthiness

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Restoring Truthiness
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
The online truthopedia that makes The Baby Jesus happy.
Restoring Truthiness!

You've got brass ones!


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Now is Not the Time to Take it Down a Notch, Now is the Time for All Good Men to FREAK OUT FOR FREEDOM!
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~ Stephen Colbert
September 17, 2010

The Truthiness Rally

Restoring Truthiness Rally (The March to Keep Fear Alive)

(also known as March for Truthiness, Truthiness Rally, The Truthiness Movement, Stephen Colbert Glorious Rally That is Bigger than Martin Luther King, Jr's and Glenn Beck's Combined)

It's time to Restore Truthiness to America! LET FEAR MARCH ON THE STREETS!



Our Glorious Leader

Possibly during the Second Coming of Christ or when Stephen Colbert feels like it. 10-30-10!!


From 12pm to 3pm, because eating is for lunatics (plus you can bring your own food)


At the doorsteps of the liberal elite, the belly of the beast, the 9th level of liberal hell, the den of thieves... possibly somewhere in Washington, DC. (?) The National Mall in Washington, D.C.!!! Next to that libural building


Dammit John, stop stealing our ideas! Looks like Stephen will have to find a new location...


  • Hold the rally on the opposite side of the mall, in front of the Washington monument. This way, he can’t be criticized for standing on the wrong step. Plus, delivering an epic speech in front of an enormous phallic object will help to spread our message.
  • Rumour has is that the band Heart will be playing Barracuda against their wishes because no woman can resist Our Glorious Stephen!
  • We need Sarah Palin and Ron Burgundy to join us


Ours is not to question why
Ours is but to do or die
So, Shut The Fuck Up and march

What To Wear:Edit

  • your balls
  • red white and blue on every garment
  • tea bags

What Channel?Edit


C-Span: Not-Fearful but still boring

If you dont have wings to fly to Washington or you have sh#t to do then your only redeeming chance is to watch it on C-Span, probably the only non-snooze program to be run in their history.


I was woken in the middle of the night by this (along with the sound of my cat getting ready to pee on the rug).
Think about it. It’ll be just like Stephen's mockery tribute of George W. Bush at the 2006 White House Correspondent’s Dinner, but 500,000 people will be able to participate with him. We’ll all stay totally in character as teabaggers Tea Patriots. The kid with the microphone that interviews all the idiots Real Patriots at these things can come by and we’ll ramble into his microphone.
This would be the high water mark of American satire Truthiness. Half a million people pretending to suspend all rational thought in unison. Perfect harmony. It’ll feel like San Francisco in the late 60s, only without any LSD or sex. That's all the better, as it will help us properly maintain our OUTRAGE!!!!
I know you’re out there somewhere, Stephen, watching LOLcat gifs along side us. We need you. There’s no way to have a logical public discussion with the teabaggers Real Patriots. The best we can do is to mimic them. Show them a mirror and hopefully some will realize how ridiculous glorious they actually are… Or maybe they won’t even realize that they’re being mocked glorified, which could be even more awesome.[1]

Restoring Truthiness Since 2010

March of FearEdit

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A chance for the Colbert Nation to unite… IN FEAR!
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~ a Truthiness Crusader

Let Fear Ring!

Because John Stewart is trying to steal Colbert's thunder!

New Mission:Edit

America, the Greatest Country God ever gave Man, was built on three bedrock principles: Freedom. Liberty. And Fear — that someone might take our Freedom and Liberty. But now, there are dark, optimistic forces trying to take away our Fear — forces with salt and pepper hair and way more Emmys than they need. They want to replace our Fear with reason. But never forget: "Reason" is just one letter away from "Treason". Coincidence? Reasonable people would say it is, but America can't afford to take that chance.

So join The Rev. Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. on October 30th for the "March to Keep Fear Alive"™ in Washington DC. Pack an overnight bag with five extra sets of underwear — you're going to need them. Because, to Restore Truthiness we must always... Shh!!! What's that sound?! I think there's someone behind you! Run! -- Our Glorious Stephen Colbert, Fearless Leader

Mein Führer, just say ze word and I vill ve there! -- Mutopis

I Have a Scream (Greatest Scariest Speech of The Century)Edit

Team FearEdit

Citizen, join our Noble Cause!

What to FearEdit


Fear the Robot

Official Fear CostumesEdit

Any suggestions for fear costumes can be found on this tube!

Joint Mission with Team TReasonEdit

There is one thing we can all agree on, Conan must not know about this!



How Sarah Palin is Helping to Keep Fear AliveEdit


Sign SuggestionsEdit

Speeling obtional

We already have ofiscal signs!

A Second Ofiscal Sign Sugeston!

and T-shirts!

more and more signs!!!

  • Teabag the teabaggers to show them how its done!
  • Tea Bagging $25, Cream Facial Extra $5.
  • reasonableness is for bears!!!
  • Obama's Death Panels do not cover Pre-existing Deaths
  • I Can Tell Stephen Is White Because He Has Alot Of Security For His Own Rally
  • Speak American!
  • Government, Get Your Hands Off Mine Medicare!
  • Abolish Social Security, No More Free Money for Black People!
  • Colbert/Sweetness 2012
  • We have OVER 9000 teabags.
  • Palin/Rush 2012!
  • I am Not a Racist, I just Dont like Black People
  • This Rally is Not Racist, We have a black Speaker
  • John Stewart, Give Back Colbert's Emmy, You Thief!
  • If Black People Can Say The N Word, Why Cant I?
  • The Bears Are Coming! Repent!
  • Refudiate Obama's Death Panels!
  • Civil Rights for White People!
  • No More Gay Sex! But If I Have Too I Will Sacrifice Myself For The Rest of Us!
  • Guv to Steal My Money Once I Win Lottery!
  • To Rent This Space, Call Me at ###-####
  • Keep Socialism off my Medicare, Keep Chocolate in my Peanut Butter!
  • Say No to John's Death Rally

Official SignsEdit

Bring the fear, go to this tube site to suggest an official sign!

The Greatest Poem Ever WrittenEdit

Are You Sure?
Copyright 2010. By the Reverend Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert DFA

Did you hear that? No? You’re probably going deaf.
It’s your kids back home cooking up some crystal meth.
Did you turn off the oven? Did you set the alarm?
They still haven’t caught the man with one arm.

Look around at these people How safe do you feel?
Your car when you parked, did you lock it?
Thinking reasonably now, what are the odds
that no one here is a pick-pocket?

That guy who just coughed down your neck, could he have an infection?
The restaurant where you went to brunch, did it fail its health inspection?
A mad man could set loose a virus for which there isn’t a cure.
And while these things may be unlikely, ask yourself, are you sure?

And can you be sure that you won’t get ebola from a tainted diet cola?
Toxic waste or getting chased by a bearded Ayatollah.
Funnel clouds inhale, anthrax in the mail.
Your lover will discover your vestigial tail.
Someone’s robbing your house. I can see through your blouse.
Your mother was right, you chose the wrong spouse.

Unlabeled Drano, tornadoes, torpedoes,
The horrible sights of some Guidos in Speedos.
STD’s, PCB’s SUVs, UV Lights
A giant pimple on your face, you have a date tonight.
Chocking on a biscotti, being whacked by John Gotti,
Getting trapped overnight in a full port-o-potty.

And I have a final fear to drop in bucket about a friend of a friend of the man from Nantucket.

There once was a man from Eau Claire
Who no one was able to scare
He wouldn’t join panics
about the Hispanics
And later he was killed by a bear
(True story)


Please click here

See AlsoEdit


Official TubesEdit

Truthiness Seal

Truthiness Seal of Approval
about time we used this thing

Post-Rally NewsEdit

It-Getter TubesEdit

Truthi TubesEdit



For non-tube speakers you can find a translation here

External Truthi TubesEdit


Lets Restore Truthiness!

External Anti-Truthi TubesEdit

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