Republic of South Africa

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Republic of South Africa
is something African and thus may or may not be real,
not to pretend that you really care either way. Come on - it's Africa.

The national flag of South Africa. This has been the country's flag for as long as any human can remember, although the dinosaurs insist that the red part was blue like the bottom part back in their day.

The Republic of South Africa (RSA) is ostensibly located in Africa, but because of that, its very existence is rather sketchy. It could be said that it is Africa's Mexico, but that would compare Africa - which nobody cares about, assuming it even exists in the first place - with the United States of America - which does exist and is the most important country in the entire universe.

There are a lot of black people in South Africa, but there are also an unusual number of white people (but Stephen Colbert doesn't notice, because he does not see color). The black people were already there, assuming that Africa is real, while the white people arrived on a flaming meteor sent from Australia. This explains the similarities between how Australians and South Africans speak. Also contributing to this is the fact that South Africa is upside-down, as is Australia, and while South Africans typically aren't as drunk as Australians, they do enjoy their liquor. In fact, the South African Breweries ran a recent beer commercial that attempted to portray South Africa as the center of the world (and remember, it might not even exist!) using Johnny Clegg's song "Osiyeza (The Crossing)" in it, even though the song has nothing at all to do with beer except for the second verse about a drunk guy getting pounded in a bar fight!

South Africans also enjoy marmite, which is similar to Vegemite, but isn't Vegemite. This is in spite of the pleas of Thomas Jefferson for South Africa to show some sanity. Unfortunately, ever since Africa itself existed - or didn't, nobody is really quite sure, nor do they really care enough to try to find out - sanity has not existed there in any shape or form.

Since 2005, South Africa's president has been Dave Chappelle, who fled America after recieving psychic premonotions of his inevitable upstaging by Stephen Colbert as host of the most-watched show on television. Chappelle has turned the country into a refuge for Colbert's disallusioned defeatees. Ted Koppel of Nightline, for example, relocated to South Africa and started an alpaca farm on the country's northeastern coast.

It is rumored that Charlene may be hiding in a hidden bunker in the southwestern city of Cape Town.

South Africa TriviaEdit

  • South Africa's black residents languished under apartheld for a thousand years until the white people decided to stop.
  • The country of South Africa holds the unique distinction of being the only country possessing nuculer weapons to have willingly given them up...or so the South African government would have the public think. In secret, those nuculer weapons are being sold to Iran.
  • Nelson Mandela was the sixteenth democratically elected President of the Republic of South Africa and therefore is not special at all. He's not even black.
  • Without Whites to be in charge South African is collapsing without real leadership.

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